I'm an idiot...

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
I'm an idiot...
4
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 2:24pm

I know, I know, this is not good.  And I know why I am doing it; I just need to get it out and tell somebody.  I crave the attention I think, and I am not getting enough from H and AP.  I say it this way, because I have had it pointed out by someone who knows the situations that I am in.

I have been talking to an old male friend from years, and I mean, years ago.  The conversations have increasingly gotten more personal, and I feel as though we are falling into an EA.  I think he wants physical contact, but I can't juggle or handle the 2 men in my life already nor do I want to complicate my life more.  Add to that, more than one guy...I think whore, which I am certainly not and don't want to feel like.  I like him, and I am doing my best not to lead him on, but the conversations have been good, and I am able to talk about H and AP all I want.  He says he doesn't mind, and he has talked about personal issues in his life and marriage.  I like the conversations that we have, and the attentiveness that he gives me.  He makes me feel beautiful in a way that AP does not.  AP wants me, but he wants me when he wants me.  This guy talks to me everyday, and he is just too sweet.  If I didn't have AP, or the feelings that I do, then I would have jumped all over this guy.  lol

Part of me says to run away, far, far away.  Another part of me enjoys our talks, and I don't want to give them up.

Lord help me!!!!  :smileyembarrassed:

 

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 2:33pm
Don't do it Lost! You have alot on your plate right now & getting involved with your male friend will only lead to more chaos. I know your searching to fulfill a need but just ask yourself...will you benefit from this?
I know its tempting but really think about this and see if the good out weigh the bad.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2012
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 2:35pm
Run!!!!!! My AP was/is an EA. I could describe him exactly as you have described your new friend. Some of our conversations were very sexual as well. We talk/ed everyday practically. He was my rock, he listened well, all around great sithation. UNTIL he made me feel like a whore. I javr not been able to get that out of mind and its tarnished probably beyond repair what weve had they past three years. Hope this helps
Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 2:56pm
I know all this, and there is no pressure on me. I just know myself and where this could lead. I will have to draw a line somewhere and nothing past friendship. Purple, you are correct, I don't need any more chaos right now.

 

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 10:21am
Wow, two unfulfilling relationships and with massive amounts of risk. I suspect that nobody could give you the sufficient attention you seem to crave. Perhaps the problem isnt who you are with, its who you are... Anyway, its probably a bad idea to take on a third partner. Your life must be hectic enough as it is. ;)