Need help deciphering male talk....

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Need help deciphering male talk....
Sat, 10-13-2012 - 10:24am

Hi all,

I really, really don't get men! They seem to be from this far away universe sometimes, lol. Long story short, this guy I've been non-seriously seeing for  a while  tells me I shouldn't be embarrassed about my body (I had wanted to dim the lights) because I'm beatuiful. To which I responded, "me? you think that?". And he said, "yes, isn't it obvious? I get so easily excited when I see you. You're cute, smart...". Now, I don't know what he meant by this? Men, can you help me figure it out? I should have asked at the moment but didn't. I might bring it up next time I see him. But I know he has commitment issues (had a challenging divorce and has been divorced for 1 year) and  so I don't want to sound like I'm pushing him to commit or something, kwim? He later told me there is nothing hideous or unattractive about me (I'm very self-conscious about my stomach in particular). This guy, from what I can tell from his non-verbal cues, is into me. He stares at me intensely, maintains eye contact, likes to be close to me - hugging, touching arm, leaning head on shoulder, etc.  But I just don't get him.  Thanks in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Sat, 10-13-2012 - 1:43pm

He likes you, to what degree, I do not know. You need to provide more details, ie: how long have you been seeing each other, do you do a lot of things together as friends, have you ever gotten physical yet, even if it was just kissing. If he is too overflattering, that's a sign of fakery. You seem to have low self esteem. Maybe he is trying to get you to love yourself first before he loves you. If you were with a man who had a stomach who was self conscious and kept telling you that "im fat, who can ever be attracted to me, im not good looking" etc.. you probably wouldnt be attracted to that self pity. Same in this situation.

He's also right. Nothing wrong with having a bit of flab on a woman. That defines all the right curves for her and in my opinion is more attractive than some skeleton looking annorexic barbie wannabe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 1:38am


Hi. He is definitely attracted to you. Also, he wanted to make an important point we men need to make with you women. Many women are more uptight about their bodies than they should be. Even if you/they are imperfect, we are still quite happy to see you naked!!! Just relax about that!!!

Now, whether you'll live happy ever after, I can't say. However, you just started dating and your marriage isn't even over yet. Relax and enjoy what you have with him.