Trying to remember
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|Sat, 10-13-2012 - 10:36am|
There are a thousand signs that my brother molested me when I was little (Im 45 now) and we know that he definitely molested my older sister. I am in therapy now and am trying to deal with many things from my childhood that I have pushed down and refused to even acknowledge. There is so much evidence that suggest this happened to me. There is evidence from the past (repeated childhood vaginal infections for example) and a sort of a deep-down knowing in my heart that this is what happened.
However, I have zero actual memory of it. There are plenty of things I am sorting out from my past that I do remember, however, it feels like I'm supposed to remember this. My therapist is definitely NOT pushing me. She is letting all the memories come as slow or as fast as they want to come. For me, I am trying to focus on the things I know for sure and sort thru all of that. Wondering if this is part of my story is making me feel a little crazy right now.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
Regardless of whether or not this happened, thankfully, I am trying to heal from the verbal and emotional abuse he definitely gave me. That stuff I am remembering quite well now. It is good to finally acknowledge it and sort thru the pain I experienced back then.
Any insight into this would be greatly appreciated!