6 month update....
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|Sat, 10-13-2012 - 4:27pm|
Hey everyone!! It has been 6 months today that xap & I went NC, or you might call it LC since we do see each other every now & then at church. I am doing great and am amazed at much I now realize that time does heal. I didn't really believe that in the beginning, but I am at SUCH a different place now than I was just a couple of months ago.
If anyone remembers that I came on here a month or so ago talking about our church camping trip. Well, we did go, but only stayed 1 day...not the full weekend. And, truthfully, I am very glad I went. It was an eye opening experience to be close to him and my heart didn't break...I didn't get that awful feeling in my stomach that I always got previously!!!!! I was like "wow....this is new"...lol. I felt FINE when I saw him and that even shocked me! So, I think that all these months of NC really helped me gain perspective on everything. So anyway...here is my run down of what I have learned:
Do I still find him attractive? Yes I do and I've decided that is okay.
Did we talk? Yes, we exchanged small talk a couple of times and it wasn't a big deal. It didn't make me want to contact him privately in any way!!!!!
Did I feel the connection was still there? Yes, I did...I felt it and know that he did, too. But the difference is that we are both choosing not to act on it. At one point he gave me his gorgeous smile that normally would've made me melt, but I was able to just smile back and move on with my day. I do have enough sense to know that since I could tell the attraction was still mutually there that we do NOT need to be in the position to be alone together or spend a lot of time together. But seeing each other every now & then is doable.
So, in an eggshell that is it. I still like him as a person and have decided that is okay, too. I can have my life and choose to do what is right while not hating him. I know that some won't agree with me...some will say there should be no attraction at all, but I am what I am...I am happy with my life now...I saw & talked to him without once wanting to get him alone. I have had no desire to fish all week. So, I think I am okay with where I am now.....And I am still amazed how much the time apart gave me new perspective!!!!
Hope everyone is doing great!!!!