Need serious help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Need serious help!
7
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 1:22am
I am so frustrated! I said I would never be a co-sleeping mom but here we are almost 4 months old and her and I sleep together while husband sleeps in spare bed half the time bc he has to be up early for long work days. I need to know how to break this and get her in her own crib and to stay there for more than 30-40 minutes which is the longest we've had her sleep in there for! It's just annoying - she did so well in her bassinet but as soon as she outgrew it everything went bad... I just can't take sleeping with her anymore I never sleep in a comfortable position and I'm up at least every 3-4 hrs to nurse her if not more often so I get so tired! We've tried putting her in there asleep and awake crying it out, every version I can find of sleep training. ANY advice would be great I just need to know there's an end in site!

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2011
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 12:57pm

The only advice I have is what we ended up having to do with my oldest DD a few years back..  she was co-sleeping and I wasn't getting any sleep.  I just had to do it one night and put her in her room, in her crib.  She cried for a 30 mins, on and off, and I would check in on her every 5-10 mins to reassure her that I loved her.  I didn't pick her up though.. only rubbed her tummy, told her I loved her, shhh'd her, etc.  She eventually fell asleep that night and I just continued with that every night after.  She never coslept with us again.  These three never coslept..  and now we bring them up to their cribs at 7:30pm..  feed again at 11:30pm and then they (hopefully) sleep until 7:30am

 

Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2011
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 12:58pm

just another couple of things to add..

a warm lavender bath and warm bottle before bed..

always lavender lotion..  always their white noise cd playing..  always their soft nightlight on.

 

Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 3:09pm

First hugs. Same place here. Never co slept before. I hate it. My husband works nights but when he is home he is on the couch right now. NO FUN!

Everything Wendy said.

When she wakes up crying in her crib- leave her. Do not go get her unless it has been 2-3 hours. Go in and comfort but don't pick up.

Hardest mommy thing ever and mostly I suck at it but we are getting there. It is a process not an overnight thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2011
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 7:12pm
It is sooo hard! She will scream for well over an hour straight in her crib sometimes even longer and I just feel sooo bad and mean! At four months should she still be getting up every three hours at night to feed or should I cut that out/wean her down to less to get her to sleep there? I seriously think I've done damage to my back by sleeping with her! Or do you think a bit if cereal before bed will help her sleep longer as right now she's exclusively breastfed I don't even pump and use a bottle. Oh and thanks for the advice it helps to know other ppl have has to just lay down the law so to speak lol

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2008
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 7:58pm

I have not had to deal with cosleeping but i have gone through sleep training with my older DD and it is sooo hard to listen to them cry.  I just know that you need to find a plan and stick to it.  I used the Ferber method with DD1 and while it was torture to listen to her cry (I cried too) I was amazed that it worked in less than a week.  I was able to borrow his book from a friend and reading it was so worth it to me - it gave me understanding as to what the baby is going through as they learn to sleep on their own which made me feel less terrible about doing it. But it is important to keep with it and not give up too soon with whatever plan you make as that just confuses the baby.

Aside from that, the best thing I can think of is spend a couple nights cosleeping with something special that you can transistion into her crib.  Maybe a special music or scent or blanket that she is wrapped in.  That way she has something that is with her when she sleeps with you and also with her in her own bed.  Not sure if it will truly help but it couldn't hurt.

Big hugs and best of luck.  I hope you get some rest.

Cynthia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2007
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 10:36pm

I've never done co-sleeping before, but I just wanted to send you good luck vibes!  Does she just sleep with you in your bed or is there an insert?  Co-sleeping/and the scare of SIDS kept me from having any of my three in my bed.  That and DH wouldn't let it happen!  I would just try to stay strong in your sleep transition.  Use either a swing or the crib? Does she like the swing? Some nights Anneliese still sleeps in the swing.  Other times I am lucky and she will go down in the bed.  I still swaddle her in the crib though, and that really seems to help her calm down.  Some nights she will cry for 45 min or more though.  I just keep going in and putting in the pacifier, and laying a hand on her, but I don't pick her up.  She still wakes 1-2 times a night to BF.

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/GY5Ym8.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers" /></a>
[link=http://lilypie.com][img noborder]http://lagf.lilypie.com/GY5Ym8.png[/img][/link]
http://lagf.lilypie.com/GY5Ym8.png
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 1:51pm

Also get her attached to something that smells like you- take one of her blankies to bed with you and be sure she sleeps with that.

BF babies need to eat more. I would still feed every 3 hrs if she wakes herself and wants it. I get about 5 from Taylor at his first night sleep...usually about 9:30-1:30 or 2am.

Just keep trying. Maybe not letting her cry for an hour. I would do 10 mins. take a break- give her some love- calm her down then 10 more. I swear it gets better easier but we have been at it for over a month. We get longer stretches now though.