DD2 has a new man in her life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
DD2 has a new man in her life.
5
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 1:55pm

 They only had their second date last night so I don't think that they can be considered boyfriend/ girlfriend yet but I did get some good vibes last night.  She had an "at ease" with him that I did not see in previous relationships, the fact that she brought him over to meet us on their second date I think meant something. 

  He has three kids so my initial reaction upon hearing that was "bagage" but she is 27 and the older my girls get the more the more liklihood of them ending up with someone with some history.  Not like DH and I who married at 22/23 so really did not have any history.

Avatar for sabrtooth
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Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 10:49am
Sounds like a decent job! Good for her. But please tell her to think about this carefully. Ydd's bf has 2 kids from a previous marriage, and that is the main reason she will not marry him. As a legal secretary, she knows the difficulties with finances and inheritance that can arise for YOUR child when you become legally tied to children that are NOT yours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 9:53pm

  I do not know how old he is, I think early 30's.  He works for AT&T, supervising instillation crews.  

Avatar for sabrtooth
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Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 8:08pm

Having a "ready made" family is never easy, no matter how well everyone gets along.  Your dd should be clear-headed about that, if the relationship progresses.  She should make sure she and her bf are on the same page about things like discipline, chores, and respect BEFORE things get too far.  That said, I hope it works out for her.  How old is he, and what kind of work does he do?

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Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 4:18pm

 I think 11, 9 and 6.  The oldest is not biologically his,  it was his former wifes from a previous relationship but he adopted it. 

  Joint custody.  He is very active in their lives,  from conversations last night I could tell that they do live with him at least some of the time.  He coaches one of their soccer teams.

     Again jumping ahead but DD2 has some medical issues that may make her infertal (won't know until she actually tries to get pregnant)  so having a "ready made family" may actually be a good thing.

  He  lives in a town about 45 minutes south of here (down by where DD3 went to college).  If this does lead somewhere than that may also be a good thing,  she has not been able to get a teaching job in our town and has to commute 45 minutes north, she may have better luck finding a job down where he lives. 

  I know what you mean about being at ease with someone.  The only one besides my DH that I have ever felt at ease with is my mother so I knew when I felt that with him it meant something. 

Avatar for shirley_v
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Registered: 04-29-2000
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 2:39pm

Wow...three kids!  How old are they - do you know?  It's nice when two people feel at ease with each other - it's a good sign in a relationship.  But your dd must be mulling about what three children means in this relationship... where do they live - with him or mom or is it joint custody?  Anyway like you said, it's only the second date, so I suppose we can't jump ahead here! 

Shirley