new here and looking for advice

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
new here and looking for advice
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 11:45pm
I don't know how long or short my post should be so in a nut daughter will be 12 in december and Im worried and feeling lost. She lies about everything big or small. I have to use major reverse physcology to get the truth. I keep finding out she has new boyfriends everytime we say no your not ready. I just found out by looking at her text messages she's been kissing boys. I was "boy crazy" and ended up 17 and pregnant. Im great now but in NO WAY do i want her following my path. Please I need advice I don't know what IM doing wrong. She does not social network she does not hang out on school days as parents we have spoke to her separated and together to come to us and be honest were a 2 parent home we spend a lot of time together and even have dinner every night together ...what r we missing? Im so scared of pregnancy there are girls in her 7th grade class pregnant! Im lost.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 9:25am
Hi and welcome to the board. Since she's so young you still have quite a bit of control. It's tough to have a kid that lies so much - I have one of those and he's 22! What are the consequences when you catch her in a lie? As far as kissing boys there's a big leap from a couple 11 year olds kissing and getting pregnant. But I agree that she's a little young to be doing that. Where has the kissing taken place? While you can't stop her from liking boys you can certainly make sure any 'romance' is confined to the school days. Our boys each had a 'girlfriend' in middle school but it just consisted of sitting together at lunch and in one case older ds got dared to hold hands on the bus. If you feel the texting is inappropriate take texting away from her. I don't really see why an 11 year old need texting on their phone anyway. Hopefully you'll get some other advice/opinions here, too!
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 7:18pm
I am going to agree with the other poster. If she can't handle the phone, take it away. It is a tool and not a toy and should be treated as such. I have an 18 yo and 14 yo and a stern rule of no dating until 16. So, if you limit her time with her boyfriends, these things will probably fizzle out.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!