FILED!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2012
FILED!
4
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 9:47am

My divorce complaint was filed last Thursday!  Still not sure how this is all going to go with H but he has asked several times for me to give him a settlement offer so I will just have to wait and see.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2012
In reply to: stronger2012
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 2:13pm
Thanks Paxlady! Actually, I am the one who makes all the money and takes care of all the finances. When I move out I am sure H will be the one suing me for APL if we haven't reached an agreement before then. I am trying to keep as much as possible because my H is moocher. He has barely worked or contributed to this family and expects to get way more than he deserves or is entitled to. Which is why he is dragging things out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2012
In reply to: paxlady2047
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 1:43pm

Stronger,

I agree with Geek, and do be prepared for some stonewalling.  Have you had your attorney file a pendente lite for temporary support?  That was the first step I took, just to get a feel for what the negotiating process was going to be like.  The first words out of his attorney's mouth after she received my cash flow statement were, "You've got to be kidding!!!".  I wasn't, and got about 80% of what I asked for. Often, the temporary support amount becomes the permanent amount, so calculate cautiously. My divorce was final in June and x still hasn't taken my name off the household accounts, since I'm the one who moved out, he hasn't changed the car registration, and I had to pay to have the COAP for my share of his federal pension and the QDRO for my share of his 401(k).  It has taken more than two years, and there's still more splittiing to do because x won't work with me on that part of it.  We spent 14 hours in mediation to reach a settlement agreement, and that was almost a year ago!  My children are adults with kids of their own, but only one of the three is financially independent.  Mr. Moneybags (x), reluctantly gives them money for the necessities, but not much more.

Good luck going down the divorce path, and please, please make sure you get enough, or are able to earn enough, to be the financially independent person I'm sure you want to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2012
In reply to: stronger2012
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 8:13am

Thanks for the advice Geek!  I do have a lawyer and I have submitted a proposed settlement to H that my lawyer reviewed.  We are just waiting to hear from his lawyer.  I know this all takes time, but it just seems to be moving at a snail's pace for me.  I am ready to be done with all this and start moving on.  H wants to drag all this out as long as possible becuase that is to his benefit financially.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2012
In reply to: stronger2012
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 2:32am

Hello Stronger2012,

I suggest you consider the following if you submit a proposed settlement.

Never do so without consulting an attorney

If children are involved most states have more or less preset guidelines on child support. These are easily found on the web.

This is not a time to be generous; likely he will end up in a better position soon than you. Don't forget taxes.

Always include give-away items you know he wants. His items have value a good place to evaluate prices is on Craigslist.

Depending on your finances make certain you only agree to assume purchases which directly benefitted you.

Make certain you advise all creditors that you separated on mmddyy date and any charges afterwards are billable to him. Never agree to half/half unless you have charged greater amount.

If vehicles are involved you will need to deal with lien holder, insurance, state registration, and misc.

Division of real property is always detailed so you must consider taking ownership or cash. Most men don't want a home where them and EX lived. This is especially true if they every remarry (likely).

I have noticed many women have to undergo a healing period after a divorce even if they deny it. It may be helpful to discuss your feelings with one you trust rather than carrying it till you heal completely.