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|Tue, 04-01-2003 - 6:53am|
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink whatever comes out"?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are
over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them,
but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere,
you have to touch it to make sure?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell,
is he homeless or naked?
Why do they lock gas station restrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes,
why do we still have monkeys and apes?
How much deeper would oceans be
if sponges didn't live there?
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take
was too small so he tied up the store clerk and worked
the counter himself for three hours until police showed
up and grabbed him.
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun but
unfortunately he forgot to keep his hand in his pocket.
If quitters never win,
and winners never quit,
what fool came up with
"quit while you're ahead"?