Being Sentimental

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Being Sentimental
23
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 1:11pm

I am curious on whether AP or yourself is sentimental or unsentimental.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 6:34pm

Hi fivediamondwife :) MW in an A w/ MM. AP and I are both far more sentimental than our spouses...or at least about certain things...something we have discussed many times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 7:38pm

Interesting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 10:11pm

Have you ever read Gary Chapman's "Five Love Languages"?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 11:03pm

Thanks for sharing. It is interesting to hear other peoples take on this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 11:20pm

I had a girlfriend who was sentimental about everything her husband gave her. She had twenty years worth of little notes and memories then

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 11:51pm

phyreblade,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 12:57am

extremely interesting post. i read it a few times and thought about it for awhile.

my husband never carried pictures of me or the children in his wallet.
he never had pictures of us on his desk.
he never wore a wedding ring.

my husband does not believe in giving flowers "they will only die".
my husband does not believe in buying cards "why spend money on words that some old fat guy sitting at a desk, smoking a cigar, thought up.

if he values it - it is probably worth money.

my husband is NOT sentimental - yet he does carry the memories of being raised by grandparents with much feeling. he was extremely close to his grandmother. his mom and dad were not married, his father was - but to another woman when he impregnated his mother. his father from what i have heard had many children by many women. when his dad attempted to contact my husband when my husband was about 40 my husband was extremely cold - basically told him - "now you want contact, forget it'. his father died soon after.

i on the other hand am VERY sentimental. often teased by him and called pollyanna, romantic, dreamer. i believe in the concept of unconditional love, yet he believes "there is no such thing as unconditional love".

there was a cd that she use to play while they made love. for a very long time, before i knew, he would refer to the cd as his favorite.

i had broken into his email, and still have their correspondence hidden away. every now and then i will pull them out and read them - why? i do not know.

small things have value ----- when making love he would tell me "you are the only woman i want to make love to - what we have shared i have never experienced with another woman, ever." then when i broke into his email there were those same words, my words - our words - our special connection ------ typed and i am pretty confident personally spoken to her.

regarding your thoughts and questions relative to how she could, why she would accept such items as a bed that the 2 of you shared - i am thinking either she never really thought about the fact that the two of you slept on that bed and shared special moments in time ------ OR ------- she is somewhat imbalanced and that thought gave her some perverse pleasure??????????????

i am thinking 5diamondwife, perhaps, in our next lives we will be born men - just think about how special we will treat our wives. what a wonderful thought - 2 people loving, respecting, trusting, laughing, growing old together never having any baggage to have to drag along.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 7:42am

Wow sissyjacks that is unsentimental.


The picture thing still bothers me a bit. My husband will carry a picture from me that he has been given. I doubt that he would take initiative and he, himself put one of me in his wallet or desk. Although he did add scrolling pictures of our family to his work computer. So maybe it is just a sore wound for me.


My husband had a lousy childhood too, unstable family life. Mother divorced and married many times. Never saw his father. But ....He also has fond memories of his grandparents especially his grandfather. His grandmother died when he was very young.


My husband went hungry a lot as a child and the family was always having money issues. I remember our first married

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 9:41am

It affects my situation in that this seems to be a major area, void if you will, that AP and I seek to fill with each other. Neither of us feel valued by our spouses for the reasons we'd like to be valued...and both of our spouses place high value on material things whereas AP and I don't. Interesting phyerblade brought up The Five Love Languages...read it w/ my H and AP has read it w/ his W (at different times!!)...sometimes when people have been married a LONG time...they're just "set in their ways" with no desire to change...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 7:15pm

Well, I can't say that I haven't thought of purging him at times also!

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