Being Sentimental

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Being Sentimental
23
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 1:11pm

I am curious on whether AP or yourself is sentimental or unsentimental.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 7:31pm
just wanted to comment on the rolling screen of pictures of the family on his work computer - my two cents only but i think that is MOST special.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 9:27pm

Pictures are a sore point for me. I have been really thinking about this sissyjacks and I think that you are right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 1:47am

thinking out loud here:

a man who is unhappy does NOT take the time to load pictures of his family. i am thinking it does however clearly state in a proud manner - LOOK, SEE WHAT I AM BLESSED WITH!!!!!!!

often when i read posts such as yours i am reminded of a saying that dr. phil often quotes:

those that know better do better

- now, he knows better and he is trying to do better, celebrate that, cherish that.

while we never forget, i am thinking when the husband wakes up and smells the coffee one should, if still in love, focus on that love, that new beginning. remember though, you need to love you, care about you - until and unless one loves ones self they will never find true piece. for they are always looking for validation thru anothers eyes. his love for you is the icing on the cake, but YOUR love for YOU is vital. does that make sense?

you are all of that and a bag of chips, remember that. you are special.

take care my friend, enjoy fathers day with your family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 8:24am

Sissyjacks,


I have been a bit messed up since I found out about the "new hire". (A single other woman has been hired to work in husband's office.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 10:17pm

you are special five diamond- you call him a beautiful person, and he may be; but in my eyes you are the beautiful one. please start, if you are not already, thinking of yourself in that manner.

i understand being stuck - you kind of feel as though you are surrounded by gorilla glue - trying to manuevor so as to not get stuck again, but you do. it is normal, it is human. you have been hurt, and when someone is hurt in terms of betrayal by someone they trusted it is hard to feel safe again. i am thinking you are somewhat afraid that the other shoe may drop at any time. but, you must, trust in you, believe that you are deserving of happiness. ONLY see yourself as happy. not sure if you are religious but if so try this when those thoughts pop up say "let go and let God!" i am not religious, but i am spiritual. yet it helps. also i purchased a book called "your best life now" by joel osteen wow, it was hard for me to believe that a book by a preacher could help, BUT IT DID. the message was clear, not religious, it touched me, gave me hope, helped me to realize that i am deserving of every day being a good day. try checking it out of your library. i purchased it and still read a few pages every day - and heck i initially bought it 2 years ago. on really down days, it lifts my spirits, give me hope and helps me to find the rainbow vs focusing on the clouds (what ifs, should ofs, could ofs, would ofs).

i suffer from the same thing - needing, wanting, yearning for validation. but at least i have identified that fact, as have you - now that you know better you will be able to do better. the book named above will help you begin living a life where the only love, validation you need is within. does that make any sense???? i know it is hard, but i believe that what you are seeing in him - the changes, you should take as an interpretation of the importance of you.

remember there are no redos in life, this is not a dress rehearsal, and you only go around once.

believe in you, he is icing on the cake.

take care and keep smiling.

you are beautiful both inside and out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 2:34pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 9:35pm

i had read your post prior to deletion and i just wanted to you to know the following: you are not alone, so many posters can totally relate to what you are trying to say.

think of it this way, when you look at a house that has been around for any length of time at all, how it was built has MUCH to do with its sensitivity to not be as strong in all areas. does that make any sense?

i have found that some of the strongest women i know will crumble when faced with infidelity due to circumstances that can be traced to their very foundation; i.e. how they were raised.

i attempted to write you a personal email however, your profile does not allow it.

you are in my thoughts, and please feel free to email me if you so choose.

hang in, you are on your way - heck you are further along than you realize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 3:47pm

Hi Fivediamondwife,


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 9:04am

Hi.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 9:22am
...my husband (the reactive "betrayer") was very sentimental...after he died I found the bracelet that the hospital gave him after our son died...I found the label off of a cigar he smoked with his friends...I found several ticket stubs and mementos from different activities we had experienced together along with mementos and photographs of his girlfriend...I relatively sentimental about 'things' as well (I betrayed my marriage as well by being an unavailable wife)...so, we (me and my husband) don't really fit into a pattern...