Get Your Morning Buzz: but watch out!

America has a drinking problem, and it has nothing to do with alcohol. You may work hard to eat healthfully when ordering breakfast on the go, but if you add a mocha-latte-frappaccino-type concoction to that egg-white sandwich order, you’ve already ruined your conscientious day of dieting before work even begins. The damage from that simple, sweet drink: more than 400 additional calories, slurped from a paper cup.

The fact is, a shocking number of the calories we consume at coffee joints doesn't come from the food. It comes from the coffee, and that's a shame. A cup of coffee in its raw, natural state contains only 5 calories, and the metabolism-boosting benefits of caffeine actually make coffee a good weight-loss supplement. But too much of our coffee has been razzle-dazzled into sugary, fatty, dessert-like beverages: Instead of drinking a cup of Joe, we're drinking ... Joeshakes.

That said, as we discovered researching our forthcoming book, Drink This, Not That!, you can get your morning buzz without the accompanying caloric load, if you know what to look for—and what to avoid. Here's an overview of the best—and worst—coffee drinks in America.

#5: Worst flavored latte

Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte (24 fl oz)

• 870 calories
  
• 24 g fat (19 g saturated, 1 g trans)
  
• 112 g sugars

Per ounce this so-called coffee concoction delivers 1 gram of fat and 4.6 grams of sugar, making even Starbucks’ over-the-top line of Frappuccinos look like reasonably decent options. Maybe that’s why DQ decided to give it a name that alludes to the animal it promises to turn you into. If you can bring yourself to backtrack out of Dairy Queen and walk down to the neighboring coffee shop, you can order a large iced latte with a couple shots of flavored syrup and still save somewhere around 600 calories. (Do that a few times a week and lose 25 pounds in a year!) But if you’re stuck where you are, you better plan on pairing a small treat with a regular cup of coffee.

Drink This Instead!

Small Chocolate Ice Cream Cone with a medium cup of coffee

• 240 calories
  
• 7 g fat (5 g saturated)
  
• 34 g sugars

#4: Worse coffee/shake hybrid

Baski n Robbins Cappuccino Blast Turtle (large, 32 fl oz)

• 960 calories
  
• 27 g fat (16 g saturated, 0.5 g trans)
  
• 103 g sugars

In early 2009, when last we compiled our Worst Drinks list, Baskin Robbins stole the Worst Drink spot by a caloric landslide. The chain’s Chocolate Oreo Shake had 2,600 calories, and the Heath and York Peppermint Patty Shake wasn’t far behind. Thankfully, Baskin has since removed those items from its menu, but if it wants amnesty from us, it will have to drop the 32-ounce cup.

Drink This Instead!

Cappuccino Blast made with Soft Serve (small, 16 fl oz)

• 280 calories
  
• 9 g fat (6 g saturated)
  
• 21 g sugars

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#3: Worst latte

Krispy Kreme Lotta Latte Chiller (Large, 20 oz)

• 1,050 calories
  
• 40 g fat (36 g saturated)
  
• 97 g sugars

This has a lotta something, but it ain’t latte. The average latte of this size, even when made with whole milk, has about 6 grams of saturated fat. This “kremey” abomination has six times that much—nearly two days' worth! Unfortunately, Krispy Kreme makes it difficult to choose an alternative. Sure, the chain offers a line of hot espresso beverages, but it refuses to spill the beans on the nutritional info. That means you’re taking a big chance when you order the calorific Mocha or Kaffe Kreme. Instead, break your order down into two functions: the sweet and the caffeinated.

Drink This Instead!

Very Berry Chiller (Large, 20 oz) with a cup of regular coffee

• 290 calories
  
• 0 g fat
  
• 71 g sugars

#2: Worst protein-fortified coffee drink

Smoothie King Mo’cuccino Caramel (large, 40 fl oz)

• 1,140 calories
  
• 24 g fat (12 g saturated)
  
• 20 g protein
  
• 176 g sugars

The good news is that all Smoothie King’s coffee smoothies come equipped with a big scoop of protein powder. The bad news is that if you order this one, it will cost you more than half your day’s calories and as much sugar as 8 full-sized Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bars. Stick with reasonable drinks and—more importantly—reasonable portions.

Drink This Instead!

Coffee Smoothie Caramel (20 fl oz)

• 340 calories
  
• 1 g fat (0 g saturated)
  
• 14 g protein
  
• 56 g sugars

#1: Worst frozen mocha

Cosi Double Oh! Arctic Mocha (gigante, 23 oz)

• 1,210 calories
  
• 19 g fat (10 g saturated)
  
• 240 g sugars

A frozen mocha will never be a stellar option, but we’ve still never come across anything that competes with this cookie-coffee-milkshake hybrid from Cosi. Essentially it’s a mocha-flavored Blizzard made with Oreo cookies and topped with whipped cream and an oversized Oreo. Maybe that’s why it has half your day’s saturated fat and more sugar than a dozen Twinkies.

Drink This Instead!

Mocha (tall, 11 oz)

• 298 calories
  
• 8 g fat (5 g saturated)
  
• 41 g sugars