Where has the connection gone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Where has the connection gone?
7
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:00am

I'm sure that there are others out there that have gone through what I'm dealing with and I know it will pass, but good grief!


I have been with my husband since I was 15 that would be 24 years and it just seems we have no romance left. I love him dearly, but for the past 6-7 months we have lived more like friends than anything else. We haven't had sex in about 5 months. He doesn't want to talk about it other than to say, it's not me *eyeroll*.


He's gained some weight now that his job is not so demanding and he hasn't slept well since he returned from Iraq. He's been to the doctor and they are running tests for a sleep disorder. He turned 40 in January and I'm wondering if this is just a phase of midlife. I know he's not cheating because he's always home, lol.


Has anyone been through this? Any words of wisdom would be great.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:03am

'Real life' does keep us each busy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-1998
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:33am

There could be any number of reasons why this has happened.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 11:59am
Hi Mickey,
I like some of the suggestions from the other gals here.
have you tried just talking to him about it?
Real Life does get in the way too often.
maybe going on a date or away might help.
Are either of those a possibility?
Take heed & don't give up.
Le us know how things are going :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 7:12pm

(((hugs))))


He was in Iraq ? could it be some kind of depression?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:07am

He was deployed 3 times in a row each time was different, the last one was a year. He's very loving in other ways, doing little things for me. Bringing me a blanket when I'm laying down on the couch, stoping at the bakery and picking up a cinnamon roll for me and DD, etc. He doesn't seem to mind me cuddling with him, but if I get a bit amorous, he'll give me a kiss and give a reason he has to go do something. I'm wondering about the ED, but he's horrible about doctors. It was all I could do to get him to see one for his sleep issues, he has a sever case of insomia.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:10am
I have my suspicions about depression, but again getting him to admit something like that would be getting a salt and vinegar infantry soldier to admit he has a mental problem and uuumm that just doesn't happen, lol.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 5:34pm

it could partly be a midlife thing. some guys get hit with it between 40 & 50. alot could be from his time in iraq. i can imagine he saw some disturbing things that aren't meant to be seen in a lifetime. has he seen a counselor since he got home?

maybe a weekend alone somewhere away from the house now & then would help

hope all works out well
hugs
pat




Edited 6/22/2006 5:38 pm ET by sportymom14