Funny for Tuesday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Funny for Tuesday.
2
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 8:34pm

Some of these are really bad-

> >
> > 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
> > wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
> >
> > 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
> > don't start anything."
> >
> > 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
> >
> > 4. A dyslexic man walks
into a bra.
> >
> > 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
> > beer please, and one for the road."
> >
> > 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
> > funny to you?"
> >
> > 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds
> > like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
> >
> > 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
> > "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says
> > Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
> >
> > 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look
> > at either.
> >
> > 10. Deja Moo: The
feeling that you've heard this bull before.
> >
> > 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
> > any.
> >
> > 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
> > "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've
> > cut off your arms!"
> >
> > 13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
> >
> > 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
> >
> > 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
> > "Dam!"
> >
> > 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
> > craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
> > and heat it
too.
> >
> > 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
> > the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the
> > manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they
> > asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting
> > in an open foyer."
> >
> > 18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
> > family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they
> > name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
> > mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
> > also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've
> > seen
Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
> >
> >
> > 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
> > produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
> > made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
> > This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good. . .) A super calloused
> > fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
> >
> > 20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his
> > friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No
> > pun in ten did.
> >
> >
> >

Von.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 9:16pm
They are great as always Von,
Love them & always appreciate the giggle :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 2:45am
hehe, thank you again Von,