lost friend?
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| Fri, 12-05-2008 - 8:37pm |
hi all
i just got an email that has made me sad. a friend who i haven't talked to in at least a year sent me an email asking to be taken off my email mailing list. it's not like i bombarded her with a bunch of emails that are going around the internet. so i'm thinking she's mad and wants to severe our relationship. we've known each other forever. a few years ago, i hit a rough patch and she was one of my friends who helped me thru it. when i started to feel better, i wanted some alone time which became years of not calling or calling back. i mean to but time zips by and then i feel bad and awkward and don't call. i did have another set of problems late last year and she was there to try to help. which she did. she did call or email early this year to ask how i was doing and i never got back to her. it seemed like a little while ago and then suddenly it's the end of the year. i think about my friends, i just don't make the effort to call etc. i work a lot and often get home late and then when i'm home earlier i don't feel like talking. my job involves a lot of talking on the phone so taht doesn't help. she's a friend who doesn't do much with email for communication which would work for me but never gets much of a response. anyway so i am fickle adn i know it. when i feel like being with friends i am and when i don't i'm not. when it seems okay, i'm fine with it but if i get a note or something that shows a friend is mad, unhappy with me then i freak out. i don't want it to get to the point where i only talk to friends when i need them. and obviously i'm very selfish. so yeah i just need to sort out priorities and make my friends priorities. cuz watching tv isn't nearly as satisfying and i miss talking to people and their lives go by so quickly and so much happens as years go by, then i've missed lots. so yeah. i just had to talk about it and anonymous is always good. thanks for listening. any advice would be great too.

Welcome Caylie, nice to meet you. Sorry to hear of your sadness.
To have a friend, you have to be a friend. It goes both ways. You know your flaws and you will continue losing friends if you can't find it to be important enough to make the effort to call or email and to be there for your friends as they are for you. There are givers and there are takers and we reap what we sow.
If you truly want to change your ways, do so with the friends that you still have and hope that you can keep their friendship.
I agree with Donna.
Never ever give up on friends,a true friend will always be there for you.
I made that mistake once,lucky for me things worked out good.
Good luck.
Von.
Von.
Hi Caylie.....Welcome, very glad you felt you could come to the SandBox to share your distress over losing a friend, I think you'll find a very nice group with alot to pass along.
I can't add much if anything to what Donna shared....
BREE !
***NEVER BE POSSESSED BY YOUR POSSESSIONS ***
Well hello Caylie, welcome to the Sandbox.
After reading your story I understand exactly how you feel. I to am one that takes on moods that sometimes I just want to be left alone and do not call or talk to my friends. I have a best friend or at least he was in high school, now he and I rarely ever talk. The reason for this was because when I got married he quit coming around. I guess since he was single he felt like a third wheel. So along time went by and we would talk maybe once a month or so then it started getting further and futher apart. The only time I would hear from him is if he got a new truck or a promotion or something good, so after awhile I would start to get mad when he would call because all he would do is brag. Now that I look back on it though I realized that I did not even make an effort to continue our friendship, I hardly ever called him at all. I get so wrapped up in my job and then when I get home wrapped up in my family and with my video games that the thought never crossed my mind. Now though I kinda wish I would have made more of an effort on our friendship because in retrospect I was the one being selfish and not being a good friend.
So my advise is this. Either become a hermit and have no friends and just be happy with what you have as far as family, or make a little bit of effort to keep the friends that you do have. Alot of times all it takes is a simple phone call for everything to be forgiven. I sympathize with how you feel and how sometimes you just don't want to be bothered because I am the exact same way, but in the end you just have to ask yourself do you want friends or not.
again thanks all. and merry christmas, happy holidays or whatever you are celebrating, have a great one.
Hi Caylie,
Welcome to the Sandbox.
E-mail friendships seem to be hard for me to keep.
Well I am glad that my words can be encouraging to someone and I appreciate the wishes of a happy holidays. See I can have a serious side occasionally LOL. Try not to get wrapped in work so much to, because I am the same way here lately I have been working 7 days a week and it kills my son for me to be away so much he basically begs me to stay home every morning and it is tough to leave, but people must do what they must do to make a living.
Oh BTW since you are new here would you care to share a little about yourself? Also what type of job do you have? Since you posted randomly on my board then I need to get to know you better HEHE!!!! Just don't be a stranger to us now that you have made your presence known is all that I am saying I hope you decide to stick around I think you will find the ladies here delightful and of course there is myself the resident male of the board HAHA!!!
Well you have a happy holidays and feel free to post again.