Alone Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Alone Question
38
Wed, 01-14-2009 - 6:02pm

Today Fran mentioned being happy that her DH will be away part of the day Friday and she is happy to have some alone time to herself in her home.


This is how I feel too, need alone time. John does not understand that as he wants to be with me 24/7 every day of the world.


I'm wondering how others feel about this subject.....


Are Fran and I alone in loving alone time?


How do you feel about being alone sometimes?


How much alone time would you prefer to have?


Do any of you prefer to be with your SO or DH all the time?






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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 12:53pm
Lucky you! I wish John saw it that way too! He wants me with him always! When he does his Red Cross volunteer work, he wanted me to ride along with him in the RC van while he picke up people for their lunch program and while he delivers meals to homes. Ummm..no thank you!! When he goes bowling with his sister, he wants me to come too and watch him. I'm not able to bowl anymore. Oh, yea, sitting in a noisy bowling alley with uncomfortable seats where conversation is almost impossible. Oh, yea, I really want to do that..No thank you!!! Geez!! I tell him it's good for him to get away from me sometimes. He just doesn't get it! ::sigh::







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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 12:55pm

{{{{RUSTY}}}} .... I do so understand why you said all of this ... and I have never been widowed ... but I have friends and family who have and I think of them often when I am needing some time alone ... which is why I added into my response that I also LOVE the security of knowing he will be back with me soon ....


I have been divorced twice before I found Tom and I remember the loneliness at times ... not fun ....

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:03pm

WOW!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:04pm

Yes, I understand your feeling that way under the health circumstances. I was pretty much like that with my last DH, too close, too dependent, so crazy about him. When he died, I was such a mess for four years before I began to heal and it took me two more years to heal as much as anyone can when they've experienced such a loss..something you never really "get over". So, I really do understand your feelings. After I lost my DH, I vowed to never get that close to anyone again as it was good while it was going on, but it was not emotionally healthy for me either. Only talking about myself there as everyone has their own personal needs.


Through all of that though, I still valued my alone time too as that need has been there my entire life from early childhood on.


I hope your DH has no more serious health problems and you two live a very long life together. Continue holding onto each other tightly for life can be very short.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:05pm
Well said CinCin and I agree with everything you said here!







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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:08pm

OH!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:14pm

That is so great that you both feel the same way about your time spent together and apart. Lucky you!!


So, you bought him a new vac for Christmas huh? A woman would have been upset at receiving such an impersonal gift..LOL!! Makes me think of Hugs DH giving her a beach chair as a Valentine's gift..LOL!!







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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:30pm
well my dh is the same way as John,,,, wants to be seeing my " beautiful face" , as he puts it,,, 24 /7.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 10:30pm

You have well balanced thoughts on this subject IMHO! I was way too close to my last DH. When he died, I was a mess for many years. That was almost 12 years ago and I learned over those years to be more independent. If I should lose my present DH John now, I will miss him terribly, but will be able to function on my own way more easily.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 11:55pm
That must be hard on him when he's away on business without you.







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