Lousy daughter-in-law
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| Thu, 07-30-2009 - 2:26pm |
Do any of yous have a lousy daughter-in-law , if so I would like to know, so that I do not feel alone in this world with one. I am a very easy going person, and I love people especially my children/grandchildren and I would do almost anything to make them happy, as when they are happy so am I, but.......now I am loosing my son because of this b---h and I can not do anything about it now, because I have had my limits.
I really didn't want to post this, because I feel the sandbox is a happy place to be, but I really just want to know if anyone has one of those daughter-in-laws.
So , on that note I do hope that everyone is well and in good spirits. Have a super duper day filled with lots of sunshine, laughter and lots of fun in the Sand Box.
(((((((hugs)))))


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Oh dear Miriam, that is really so sad,,, for you and for your ds.
Oh, no, Miriam, I am so sorry to hear that you are having to cope with this stress and heartache. I don't have sons, have two daughters, and my sons-in-law are very nice and never a problem for me..even the one whom my DD1 is separated from. Therefore, I can't offer any input; but there are probably others here who can. I know Rusty has a problem daughter-in-law too.
Bless your heart, I hope she grows up one day and changes her difficult ways.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Miriam
Yes i do. i seldom see greg now. they have had a misscarrage and have desided to be with her family now...because they buy them. Yes a home, land, furnishings, vehicles..ect.
It has been years since i have seen them on holidays. they live about 20 minites from here. She makes the discisions, and he will do anything for her. this is also the dil who told me her dad assulted her. so why would she want to be with them??
I also have a step daughter(janelle) that continues to cause trouble. She informed grant that m kids are not his. demanded we be thier for christmas...just us not the boys. hello tomas lives here and aj where would he go?? Then demands we spend holidays where she is ...including when her mom is at her home. Her mom that has attacked us physically, financially..ect.
Now we dont see her or the grandkids. We did get a fathers day card and a birthday for grant. the last letter she sent ...was all bad mouthing me. guess he can be married to us...but must be at her beck en call!!
It would blow your mind the other people i know whjo deal with this!
I just don't get it why they have to be like this! It really hurts!!
Feel free to email me through my profile. sometimes venting to someone whohad been there helps!
I am so sorry that you are having the same difficulties as I am.It is so sad and upsetting to have to have no kind of relationships with our sons and grandchildren because of their wives.
She has been in our lives since she was 15 years of age. I never really was fond of her nor her family. But...you know when they get older they all think that they know best. I felt that if he was going to be happy with her then I would be as well, but I think down deep inside he really isn't that happy.
This girl is really a mental case. I am not trying to be funny or cruel. When she had he first baby, he was about perhaps 5 or 6 months old and the holidays were here. I can not remember what the conversation was about, but she decided that she was going to call me a bitch and all kinds of names. I then hung up on her, and called my son to tell him that I expected him to come with the baby before he went to synogue so we can wish them and wish them a happy holiday. He did come and 5 minutes later she called again and ask me not to hang up on her, as she wanted to apologize to me. My son of course made excuses for her and I excepted her apologize.
On several different occasions she would tell me that I was a mental case and called me all kinds of names.I always let it go because she was married to my son. We live an hour and 15 minutes away from Montreal. I have told my son on several occasions to get in the car on a Saturday with the boys because she works on that day and come see us, have brunch with us and he doesn't have to leave late, he can leave by 2:00 pm and he will be back in his house by 3:30 the latest. he has all kinds of excuses to not come down. When i don't hear from him, I call him and tell him it has been like 2 weeks since he has called, he keeps saying he is really busy he has no time, all this nonesense stuff. I tell him that the president is busier and I am sure that he finds the time to call his mother.
I haven't seen the grandsons in ages. Whenever I have the opportunity to see them , there is always an excuse and then the tables are turned around and it becomes my fault that the boys don't see me. He constantly tells me that the older one who is 8 yrs old misses me a lot, well I said he is old enough to call his grandmother when ever he wants to. You just have to tell him if you want to talk to grandma you can call her. NO, they depend constantly on me, to call to come etc.
Well the last phone call from her was about 4 months ago and she says hello, how are you and then begins this yelling fit, and says to me, that she forbids me to see my grandchildren. I will not tell you what I said to her, but I said what I needed to and then hung up on her.
Of course she called my son right away and I emailed him at work because I couldn't get him on his phone because his wify was talking to him. Again, the story is she was upset and she didn't mean what she said.
The bottom line to this is, I said to him, that it is ok for her to talk to your mother the way she wants whenever her mood allows her to? This is crazy. I will not talk to her and I will not have any dealings with her as well. I was in Montreal for a week with my girlfriend who lost her husband. I had tried to make plans with my son 3 times that week to see the kids, and......what can I say. The sat that I was going to leave I asked him maybe I would come over to spend a few hours with them, take him and the boys out for lunch and his response was, it will be to difficult for him.
I also had called to speak to the older grandson and my son told me that he was to busy playing a game. Isn't that nice???
I think it is time for these men to get a back bone.I don't want to cause problems for my son, if he is really happy with her, that is fine it is his life, but....I do not have to be disrespected, and he can have a relationship with his mother even if I do not have one with his wife.
So sorry I just realized that I am rambling on here. I am sorry that it is so long, but I just wanted to give you an idea what I go or rather say went through with this girl. No more , I am 61 yrs of age and I have had it now. I do not deserve to be spoken to the way she spoke to me. Everyone says how sad it is because they are missing out on a good mother/mother-in-law and grandmother. I too am missing out ofcourse.
Thank you soooooooooooooo much for letting me vent here and Glenda I will take you up on emailing you , thanks again sweetie.
Thank you Donna sweetie for your kind words. There will never be a relationship with her ever again. I just posted to Glenda some of the story about my relationship with my daughter-in-law.
I am just to old for this Donna, and when I think about my son and grandsons i just want to cry. I miss them a lot but there is also a lot of jealousy because I am very close to my daughter and grandchildren and my younger son. But....I have always said and tried to teach my children, that whatever you put into a relationship, be it family or friends, that is what you are going to get out of it.
I don't want him to fight with his wife because of me, but... I really expected him to to have more respect for me, that he would insist that she has the same for me, and in the meantime he and the boys should still be able to see me. But he chooses not to, and so the way he makes his bed is the way he is going to sleep in it. Too bad , as we all miss out on each other, and all because of his wife.
(((((((((((((((hugs to you my dear friend))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you Suzan, you are such a doll and I am blessed to be here at the Sand Box and have met such loving, caring and compassionate women.
It definitely isn't an easy situation and there is nothing that I can do about it as my son, sticks up for his wife, and I don't expect any different from him, but he should be able to stand up and say, this is my mother, my sons' grandmother and I expect you to have respect for her. But....he doesn't, so he stays away and doesn't call me and I have no relationship with him or the grandchildren.
Very sad, and I hope that later on in years he has no regrets for the decisions he has made in the present. I just want him and the boys to be happy, and that, I am not sure of either, if he really is happy with her. But if he doesn't like his life ,he is the only one that has the power to change it for better. he is going to be 40 yrs old this year and should know what he wants or doesn't.
Thanks again hon, for being here for me. I really appreciate it :)
Im so sorry you are having to deal with this woman in this way,i dont have daughter-in-laws,i have no children of my own.
DH has two daughtes but they are not married.
I have the opposite to you,my MIL treats me like sh**,i dont speak to her when she flies in for family get togethers and ive told DH if EVER she stays are our house i will book into a hotel,up to now she stays with DH brothers or sister.
Hang in there,i think you have done all you can do and your son will realise one day what a nasty woman he's married to,sounds like she has your son wrapped around her little finger.
Von.
Von.
Von.
Granny to Caleb and Scotia
I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a horrible time with your DIL. Neither of my kids are married right now and hopefully my relationship with a future DIL will be good and much like how much I respect and love my MIL. We get along very well even with a language barrier.
That said, I can say that I have been an outside observer on a toxic MIL/DIL relationship in regards to my mother and my father's mother (now passed away). I'm not sure why or when their relationship made its descent into hell, but it started out amicable at the beginning. As I grew up, I saw and heard a lot so I got the idea that both my grandmother and my mother were at fault for their own particular reasons. Not sure how it was between the other two DILs and my grandmother, but time changes, people change and it can be heartbreaking for everybody involved.
You are so right,people do change and we always hope for the better. Not in my case. Please understand that I am not perfect, I never claimed to be,but... for all the years that she has been in my son's life, which was at 15 yrs of age, she always considerate me as a mother figure. I can not get into what your parents did many many years ago as a living, but they had lost their home, they rented a duplex and I will always remember the day, she came home from school and found her parents and all their belongings on the street. I was very very good to her, I could of also bad mouthed her parents who do not have a good name or liked by to many people, but I didn't. I always tried to say that things will get better , they were still her parents etc. She was always in my house, and I treated her very well, this is the respect I got back for all my good deeds. Not sorry that I did what I did.
I hope that they will be happy, but not happy that my son and grandsons are not in my life. It is most definitely heartbreaking but I also think that there has to be a limit of how much you take from someone, and think after all these years, I have reached up and beyond my limit. Now it is over for me, not happy, but the ball is now in my son's court.
I am not an envious person, but there is one thing that I am a little jealous of, and that is some one that has a good relationship with their dil.
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