I need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
I need some advice
4
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 4:03pm
I am a single mother of a 20 month old. I started dating a guy almost 3 months ago, and he is already moving in next month. He started moving his stuff to my house, which I own, and I believe I truely love him. I'm ready for this next stage in my life. Some may say it's to soon, maybe it is, I'm not sure. My heart says it's time to trust again and love again - I've been hurt many times before. He's great with my daughter, and for the first time, my family and friends aprove of him. However many things in the last 3 days have worried me. It seems to be the same thing everyday. He comes over, we watch a movie, talk a little, and go to bed. I get up, go to work. Come home, get my daughter to bed, he comes over, and the routine continues. I feel I need more fire. He lets me know he loves me, I trust him, and I KNOW I love him. My daughter loves him, I love him, my family and friends love him. But some things just make me wonder. Like when I say something sarcastically, he gets upset and walks away..sometimes he drives all the way home because he's so upset. We don't fight, but he doesn't let things go. I've talked to him about it, and he said he'll try. But should he have to try? Or should it come naturally? I've already told him how I feel, so that's not an option anymore - I think this is something I need to come to terms with myself. Should I put a holt on the moving in? Even though he gave his notice at his apartment and started to move things in? Or should I still let him move in on a trial basis? Or should I just end the relationship because my heart is questioning this? I'm so confused! And I feel, since my daughter is getting attached, timing is crucial! Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 9:39am
TRUST YOUR HEART.. Maybe you should give you and him a little more time before making a big step.. If he loves you and you love him things will work out the way you feel they should before you make the big move.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 9:50am
Trust you heart.... Maybe you should give yourself some more time to think about it all and the impact that this will make on your child. If he loves you and you love him things will work out the way you want or need them to. You may to take you time if he did move in and something may happen 3months down the road after your child got use to him and he had to move out how will you help your child deal with it. Best of luck hope it works out the way you need it to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2003
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 5:46am
You're right about your daughter. If you have ANY doubts about this guy and your future with him, you should definitely not let him move in. It would be very upsetting to your daughter to lose someone she has become attached to. You also need to think about yourself. If you are having these kinds of concerns now, what do you think it will be like when he moves in? My advice is to SLOW DOWN. If you really want to be with this guy, work on your relationship and your problems. That will be a lot easier to do if you are not living together. He may get angry, but just explain the way you feel and your concerns about your daughter. If he really loves you and your daughter, he will understand. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 1:53pm
Hello,

Here are a few boards that may be helpful for you in this dilemma~

Ask the Relationship Saver

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlrelationsh

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlshouldista

Single Mothers and Dating

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlsolomother


HTH~

~Wendy~


You can find me on my blog:
CalvaryGirl
I'd love to "see" you there!