Angry about my fiance's bachelor party!!

I know exactly how you feel. I went through that two years ago August 25. My fiance went to strip clubs at his bachelor party with his buddies and apparently his buddies paid for lap dances and whatever else guys do to "bachelors" at strip clubs before they are married. But, my fiance told me that besides the obligatory lap dance, nothing else went on - that there was nothing to worry about. I believe him. First of all because I trusted him enough to marry him so I also trust him not to do something that would disrespect me or damage our relationship. (From your message, I get the feeling that you and your fiance are probably on that same wavelength.) I think bachelor parties (with strippers) are incredibly sexist rites of passage that seem to have become tradition with the male half of our population. Women don't see stripping, sexy, dancing men the same way that men see women doing the same. Men are visual, they are hard-wired (with testosterone) to be visually stimulated and sexy women happen to satisfy that visual. When you think about it rationally, looking is not the same as "cheating" or even touching. Strippers are a visual. So your guy will look at them, maybe even have them shake their butt and other body parts in his face. I doubt it is a very comfortable situation with 10 or more other guys looking on and making wise-cracks. I completely understand your anxiety though. I felt the same. Even still I can get jealous. But jealousy is also a good emotion. It means that you have a pretty deep bond with the person and if you feel that way I'd bet your fiance feels the same way too. Do men check you out on the street or when you two are out? Probably yes. I'm sure your guy notices too and is probably jealous but doesn't necessarily say anything. Men are like that. It's a macho thing. They don't want to be construed as insecure, needy, etc. It works both ways though and I'm sure that if some guy was coming on to you, your fiance would not like it one bit. I think that your worries also have something to do with getting married. It's a huge step and one that will change your life. For the good though. I hope what I've talked about helps in some way. I am sure you will be a beautiful bride and when your fiance sees you walking down that aisle in your wedding gown, he will only have eyes for you.

Hi. I gotta disagree with the previous opinions. You state that you are having a big catholic wedding in a few days. I assume this means that you will consider the ceremony to be a Sacrament...or are you and your guy just going through the motions to please the family or because of tradition? What exactly does your faith mean to you? What does being joined in Holy Matrimony signify? There is a strange disconnect going on here between commitment to Jesus Christ and having a catholic household, and the public behavior of you and your fiancee. I don't get it. Somehow the vision of a half-dressed woman grinding on my fiancee's lap 10 days before our joining in Holy wedlock seems hypocritical. Could you explain a little more?

I agree with you in that I see what you are saying. On the other hand, what really are you going to say to your fiance who has friends/brothers/other male family who want to do the "traditional" bachelor party that includes a stripper or at the very least a lap dance? Will you tell your fiance absolutely not under no circumstances? Letting him know you do not trust him? Yes, it's a stupid (in female minds) "tradition", but I think it is harmless. Harmless if you trust your husband. And, isn't that a huge part of a marriage/relationship? Trust. Maybe one day there will be no such thing as bachelor parties, but right now there are and yes it does make women insecure no matter how beautiful they might be. It is just part of our nature. Insecurity is human nature. I wouldn't want to tell my fiance that if he had strippers/dancers at his bachelor party, I wouldn't want to marry him. That is not reason enough to call off a wedding. And, how do you think his friends would view you? (Not that it really matters, but when it comes to family and lifelong friends, I think it does matter.) I'm only trying to look at the optimistic side of things. Yes, if you have a strong relationship with Jesus, this sort of thing would not even be in question, but we are all inherently evil and self-centered. I could continue with my views, but I think I've said enough. I don't mean to tred on anyone's feelings here either. I just think a bachelor party is harmless if your fiance is a trustworthy, loving, caring, etc. etc. man.

As long as he is not touching them why are you so angry. Did he throw the party or did someone else thow it for him?