lonely in marriage board

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
lonely in marriage board
5
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 3:43pm
Is anyone else feeling lonely although they are married? I would like to see a board dedicated to discussing marriage when one or both partners feel lonely or bored.

LNM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 4:25pm
Hi, some of these boards may help:

Ask the Relationship Saver http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlrelationsh



Clashing Libidos http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlclashing

Communication Problems http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcommunityp

Problem Solving for Couples http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcouplescou

Toxic Relationships http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rltoxicrelat

and you might be interested in our newest Expert board:

Ask Dr. Ruth, Sex Therapist for Couples http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlruth





Good luck!

CM Zanna Farlow
Message Board Coordinator
iVillage.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Wed, 08-27-2003 - 5:21pm
These boards are not what I'm looking for in regards to help with my marriage. I want a marriage board dealing with loneliness in a marriage. Ask the Relationship Saver board is primarily a board where single people post about their dating difficulties. Clashing Libidos is a sex board and I'm not having any sexual difficulties in my marriage. Communication Problems board primarily deals with one partner not understanding the other. My husband and I communicate well. We could lead that board. Problem Solving for Couples is essentially a board where single people post about their dating problems. Toxic Relationships board deals with relationships where one partner is bad for another.

Ask Dr. Ruth, Sex Therapist for Couples is another sex board. Frankly you could drop a number of the sex therapist expert boards and add some that would be of help to people. But what I'm looking for is a board where married people talk about their feelings of loneliness or boredom within their marriage, but who also tend to want to stay married. I want a Marriage Problems board.....why can't we have that one?

LNM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 2:32pm
Hello Lonely,

Unfortunately when we hear about loneliness in a marriage, it is usually because of the reasons you have dismissed in your posted message. The only thing that would make me think of loneliness in marriage would be individual goals and desires that have not necessarily been achieved. Sometimes we work so hard at being a couple that we often forget how to be an individual.

This does not mean that we don't love our spouse, it just means that there is something on the inside of us that we want for ourselves separate from them. There are times when I think of how I might have been a high powered executive in a Corporation. I went to college and got married. I excelled in a number of subjects and am really quite intelligent. However, I stay at home wondering where it all went. I am happy with married life, it is my individual life that I tend to regret. (I don't like that word, it may be a little too strong for lack of a better word in this instance)

When I look back over my life I can certainly tell some interesting stories of times that I may never have been able to imagine because of my husband and our relationship with one another. I am sure he has the same type of feelings in his life. (I would like to think so anyway) Now looking back, I want to change that word, regret, there are no regrets, just innocent wonderings of how it may have been if I had made different choices. I probably would be right where I am now, just maybe sooner or later in life.

What has not killed us has truly made us much stronger and to whomever coined that phrase "Thank you very much". So much growth and revelation each and every day it is a joy be right here, where I am right now experiencing what lessons life has to give and teach me as I wake up to behold the dawning of a new and glorious day. How can you be lonely when you have so much to wake up to and even more to live for.

Joy, peace and love has outweighed any loneliness you can imagine. Walk in those traits and watch loneliness find a hiding place.

No regrets.

Menet

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 12:52am
I couldn't sympathise with you more.. I miss intimacy something awfull, and I live in small town Saskatchewan, so I don't have a lot of friends to talk to, and noone understands better than a woman anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 6:11am
I agree totally. Recently I have had to confront my husband about problems that have escalated since we were first married - 4 years ago. I've been in therapy and have had to admit that my love for him has changed, and I have been bored with him and didn't even know it. I just thought that I would "snap out of it". But until I got to the root of what was causing the boredom, my feelings of loneliness and isolation, and just plain feeling in a rut would not go away. We have had to deal with extreme financial stress, meddling inlaws, and sexual problems to say the least. We have been getting counseling and hopefully everything will get on track or else we will go our separate ways. Thought I was the only one who felt bored in marriage but kind of glad that someone else understands that you can be with someone else and feel isolated and tired at times.

Thanks,

hannie5