bloked with a girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
bloked with a girl
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 2:34pm
hello everybody, well i'll try to tell what is my problem really quick.well i'm really a very shy guy, and i like a lot to flirt with the opposite sex.So i don't have problems with it.

But when i really do have feelings for a girl, i become "stupid" don't know what to do, what to say, every word that i'm saying after a wile, i want to kill my self for saying such a stupid thing.

There is a girl, that is really cute, she began talking to me the last weeks, i know she wants that i'll do the first step...well very often i'm beginning to have a conversation when it's not the good moment, for example she is working and i'm asking or telling some things to her....i don't know what to think about.

Today i saw her in a park, she was alone, i came to her to say hi and to talk a little bit, we talked for 5 min then she told me that she has to work,now i feel that it's my fault, and i don't have that affect for her then before.....i hate when feelings wins other my mind.Sorry for my English, : i' tried my best ))) i have my first date with her on saturday, don't even know what to do...i know that i should be cool...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 2:50pm

Congratulations, you have a first date with this girl!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 3:55pm

Hi hameleon89,

Welcome to iVillage!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 12:58am

Hello Hameleon89

... I'm guessing you are 19 years old ... maybe I'm wrong, but with your messageboard name including '89' in it, I just thought .... Nonetheless, here's a bit of advice, that 'might' help you out - I have a son who is 20 and a daughter who is 24 plus a few other younger ones ... I realize that I am a couple of weeks late replying, but hopefully my advice helps for future encounters with this girl ...

When you are with this girl (on a date or not) just remember a few little things ...

#1. Always use your manners (this will make her realize that you care about what she thinks of you).

#2. Look at her whenever she is speaking to you, or whenever you are speaking to her. This is a common Communication issue, when people are nervous, yet it is often mistaken with inconsideration or lack of interest.

#3. Treat her with respect, similar to how you would treat you mother ...

#4. If you find yourself nervous, try thinking of other situations or other people, that make you feel comfortable - this will help you feel more at ease, and likely act the same way.

#5. Take a deep breath, or count to 5 (or 10, if need be) before you respond to questions, etc. Hopefully this will make you feel less nervous.

#6. Have fun and make sure she is having fun too.

One last thing ... smile ... keep smiling ... she will do the same, I'm sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 4:51pm

thank you a lot for your message, i really appreciate for such a detail advice:) in fact if you want to know, the date was really well, but without physical contact:(unfortunately, i went all in and tried but she refused, as being a bit shy. I asked her another date, and she refused saying she had some work to do. Today i saw her, and i told her directly, that i like her a lot and i was really confident in myself and dominated this situation, i told her that; "i like you a lot, and not only one month, that i was fighting for you...i tell you this with all my heart. Even if on first date there is no physical contact, the second one can reveal everything...i'm sure want i want, but do you?" and then i told her that she has to think if she really want's this or not.And i left...i don't know why, but i feel better now))

sorry for this long message
best regards)