cyber cheating

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2010
cyber cheating
4
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 2:08am
My partner & I have been together for 5 years. Recently I found FB messages to a woman he was re-acquainted with at a reunion. I read messages over a 2 week period by which time it turned into cyber sex. I felt that she wasn't as keen as him (she's married with kids) but they did talk about meeting up again in the near future (as she lives in another state). I confronted him and also sent her an email and told her I knew and told her all the things she didn't know about him. She admitted that they'd spent the night together at the reunion although she says that nothing happened as she was very drunk and sick and preceded to vomit every 15 minutes for the next 8 hours. She said that it had gotten out of hand & had filled a void for her & that it was something she needed to address. I was so hurt, more because of the intimacy they shared and the hurt I felt that he could do it to me. We have an amazing sex life although our relationship has had its up and downs. I'm a single mother of 3 and he has never married or had children. I broke it off with him but now we are talking again and I miss him so much. He seems terribly sad and sorry and says he doesn't understand why he did it and that it didn't fill a hole or anything and that our relationship wasn't lacking in anything. What do I do? Do I take him back and believe that he is sorry and won't make the same mistake again or do I get out now? I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust him and whats the point in a relationship with someone who you assume is getting up to no good when he's not with you. Why do men need other woman? Help!
Avatar for cmerin
Administrator
Registered: 01-20-2004
In reply to: simandrews
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 11:01am

Hi!

You may want to drop by our Cyber-Cheating & Emotional Affairs support board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlemotional. I'm sure they'll have some advice for you.

Best of luck,










Erin
Community Technical Assistant | Community Moderator
iVillage.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
In reply to: simandrews
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 4:59pm

Honestly,


I believe that this is a firm example of the way that men separate physical/sexual urges from what they truly feel emotionally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2010
In reply to: simandrews
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 6:03pm
Thank you. I think I feel the same but you have put into words what I could not. We have talked extensively and I do believe it was done out of boredom and low self esteem (he had been sitting on the couch for three months, unable to work, due to a sports injury). He says it will never happen again but I am not sure about that. I think I need time to build up some trust and I have told him he needs to step up and be the man I expect him to be if he wants me ie. committed, trustworthy and honest. And he needs to fight for this relationship because I will never give him another chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2010
In reply to: simandrews
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 4:26am

Get rid of him. Once a cheater always a cheater.


YOU deserve better and WILL find it.


Take care and big hugs