Difference in financial lifestyle?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Difference in financial lifestyle?
4
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 12:45pm

We are a happily married couple with 2 young kids. I am the frugal accountant housewife of the family while he is the breadwinner.

I came from a financially secure family but we had always lived on one income so I know what it's like to be frugal.

He came from a not so financially sound family. He also earns a decent income right now. Being so, he likes to spend on what he wants, since he didn't get everything as a child.

I'm not saying that he's spending left, right and center. Just because he has no idea how much money is in our account, he doesn't think twice when he buys something plus he does earn the money while I stay at home with the kids. Also, he does save us alot of money by doing all the work around the house.

The problem is....how do I speak to him about our finances without me screaming at him and getting super upset? I want him to start thinking about how I am scrimping on our household/grocery expenses while he is spending away on his expensive hobbies (e.g. his racecar, which he doesn't even race anymore since he has no time). I don't know how to bring this up with him calmly. I have solely handled our books for the last 10 years.

Thanks,
Gisele

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 4:29pm
I'm not completely sure of your DH background, but I too came from a not financially sound family and definitely say that it does affect my spending habits.
My recommendation would be to write down a list of what you want to discuss with him. Also if you enlist his help in setting the household budget, he may "get it" a bit more. Beyond that I'm not sure what to suggest.
Lyn

Lyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 9:09am

Hi Gisele,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 12:24pm

Thanks for your ideas. I like the idea of reading the Dave Ramsey book and sharing it with him.

I also like your idea of telling each other how much you have saved on xyz item. That might make him take the time to search out cheaper stuff.

I realize that it's my fault for hiding my concerns about our financial status. Even though I have seen a big change in our finances since I stopped working and had 2 kids, since he doesn't deal with the money, he has no idea. I don't even think he knows what his salary is!

My first step will be to create a July budget and then have him review and "approve" it. I hope it doesn't scare him....

Gisele

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 3:17pm

That sounds like a good start. Approval just means he agrees it makes sense and includes all the expenses for the month - including special expenses like a birthday or other special costs coming up that month. And, it means he promises to stick to it.


Be sure to work in a bit of blow money (for us, that's our allowance and we get it in cash on the first of the month. When it's gone, it's gone).

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