I'm so depressed...
Find a Conversation
I'm so depressed...
| Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:58am |
I just told my husband yesterday that I wanted to stop doing all the bills and let him do them because it's too stressful for me. Now I don't want to hand them over to him, though, because he doesn't know how bad it really is. The mortgage is late and I'll probably have to borrow from my mom to pay for it and I don't want to tell my husband about that. I'm 2 months behind on the credit card bills. I'm in such a mess. I don't know what to do. ~~~Angie
Latest from the board
Memeber Support
Visit our Member Support area or browse the iVillage Help forum
| Q: | Where can I change my password? |
| A: | Log in, go to Edit My Preferences, and click the Account tab. Make and save your changes. |
Now, i'm a single person, but this is what I did with myself when I realized that things were getting bad.. Keeping your head in the sand is never a good idea... I'm sure alot of the other women who post on this board will be along shortly with good suggestions, but i've always found honesty is the best policy, with yourself and everyone else.. Its not like the bills are going to get worse by looking at them.. They are what they are and they aren't going to go away...
Good luck! Liz
Honesty is the best policy. If you have been doing all the bills and he's been living in a bill free fantasy land, this is the perfect time to sit down with him, show him how things are, and find solutions to correct the situation.
I've always thought that money should be a team effort in a marriage and one person shouldn't have to carry ALL of the weight of the debt on their shoulders- it should be shared. It's not always easy to do this, but if you are able to communicate with eachother, it can be done.
Why not make a list of the bills to show which ones you can pay this month. Then list the ones that you can't pay and tell him your plan of borrowing the $$ from your mom. Sure he may get upset, but at least the mortgage will be paid, and when you are on a better financial path, you will be able to set aside $10 here, and $15 there to pay back your mom. And you never know, he may have a different idea to get the mortgage paid!
Reality isn't always pleasant, but it IS your reality for right now, and you shouldn't have to confront it without your dh.
Let us know how it goes!!! Kathy
He needs to know... if to only get it off your chest. Then you can work together to solve the problem. Money puts a lot of strain on a marriage, especially when there's not enough of it. Be strong. It gets better as long as you continue to work toward making it better. It starts out very slowly, but it will pick up speed and before you know it, you'll be on the road to recovery!
Sharon
Corinna
Honestly is the best policy. I suggestion, you sit down with your husband and work on a budget. Let him know what's going on. Perhaps you both can come up with a budget.
Good luck.
MYM
If you have a parent who can provide financial assistance, I'd go for it. I'd also consider contacting your creditors (re past due credit card bills)to make reasonable repayment arrangements. It would be far worse to have them call and upset you. If you make contact first, you still have some control over the situation.
I hope this helps. Keep us posted. Good luck!
I was a little nervous at first that he might not be responsible enough to do it. but he has been doing just fine! I dont know what type of people you and your DH are, but with my husband and me, I get very stressed out over things, and he pretty much always keeps his cool. So I dont think that doing the bills is stressing him out as much as it was me. I am not saying that I dont check on things and remind him sometimes - he usually didnt need the reminder but I do it anyway. And I am not completely stress free about our finances even though I dont actually write the bills. But it is just better this way.
Megan