Newbie to Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Newbie to Board
4
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:27pm
Hi! My name is Jeanette and I am new to this board! I am so glad to find a board like this one where I can talk with people in the same situation I am in. I am in so much debt that it makes me sick. I am always depressed and just never want to get out of bed in the mornings. We are expecting our third child in August and my pregnancy is not going well because I am always so worried about our debt. I was looking into debt consolidation and wondered what you ladies think of that. Have any of you used a debt consolidation program? If so, can you share your experience and recommend any company(ies) I can look into? I was even thinking about filing personel bankruptcy, but am not sure about that. I would hate to do that to my credit record, though. We are renting a house now and are hoping to be able to buy our own home in about 2-4 years or so. Can you please share with me any advise on how to get my life back on track?

Thanks for listening!

Jeanette

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:34pm
Thanks so much for the great support and help you ladies have given me already! I am starting to feel better now about our debt. I visited all the sites you ladies recommend and did research on my own. I found a great site that you can print out forms to help you budget. The site has this great plan called The Complete Budget and Bill Organizer to help you. I printed it off and sat down and looked it over. After fill the paperwork out and getting organized with a budget and bill paying plan, I can see the light! I know it will be ok now and it is going to take time. i told myself I need to stop stressing myself out about our debt. Putting it down on paper really helped. I pretty much knew what our budget was like, but it helped to put it on paper so I could show my hubby. Since I am the one who handles all the money, I would get so mad when ever he would say. "why don't we have any money ~ what are you doing with it?" Now that I showed him our finances on paper for him to see, he understood what I kept telling him about spending too much money on eating out at lunch time every day ~ or stopping at Starbucks 2-3 times a week on his way to work.

I proud to say that I can handle our debt and will not have to go with a consolidation plan or even bankruptcy like I thought we would have to do.

After sitting down and taking control of our debt ( instead of it controlling me) I felt so much better and releved. I took my 2 year down to the park and we had a wonderful time playing. It was so nice to relax with him and enjoy our time together.

Thanks so much for listening to me cry and offering your support!

Have a great evening everyone!

Jeanette

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 2:47pm
jeanmorgan25, Welcome! You have found a supportive group of people who have "been there and done that." Here at the DSG we offer lots of emotional support to one another as we struggle to get out of debt. Each person has found their own way of doing this and has much to share to help a newcomer. I think you can find a way to become debt-free without a debt consolidation loan by posting here and following the suggestions of the members. I only did debt consolidation once and it was a disaster because I felt like I had paid off my debts and ran the cards right back up, thereby doubling my debt in record time. Everybodys different though so gather the feedback and make your choice!

We have a weekly check-in on Mondays. Try to be sure that you check-in then as well as posting often and becoming a part of our caring community. Please check out all the other Money boards as well. Many newbies find the Debt Questions and Answers Board to be an important source of information as they are starting out.

I urge you to visit http://www.quicken.com/planning/debt/ and use the Quicken Debt Reduction Planner to calculate how long it will take you to get out of debt with a reasonable payment plan. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org is a valuable website for understanding this affliction of compulsive debting. I have found http://www.flylady.net to be an important source of help for simplifying my life and dealing with the blues and a general sense of depression that I struggled with when deep in debt. And lastly I always ask people to check out http://www.cheapskatemonthly.com, Mary Hunt's website is a source of much helpful information and inspiration.

We are glad you joined our group! We welcome you with open arms and hope that you come back often.

cl-12by10

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 8:35am
Welcome to the group. Glad you found us.

Some suggestions for you...Have you been tracking all your spending? (Including pop at the vending machines at work, etc...). Try doing that for at least a month and that might give you a clearer picture of where there are some leaks. I know that you may feel you have already cut back a lot, etc... but I'm still always finding small places to cut back at.

Have you checked out the Snowflaking website....some good ideas in there, you didn't get into debt overnight and you won't get out of debt overnight. Baby steps. Some quotes I love are "You are not your debt" and "It's Only Money"...I believe those are from Jerry Mundis. http://pages.ivillage.com/cl-beckymk/snowflaking/

As for the consolidation loan, it all depends. Are you talking about a home equity loan? I'm not in favor of those because if you fall on hard times and things happen then you could lose your house. You have to be extremely disciplined and get rid of the credit cards if you do a consolidation loan because the problem is, unless you have curbed using the cards, etc... you run the risk of getting a consolidation loan and then running the cards back up and then you are in deeper than you were the first time around. It can be a nasty cycle.

Please continue to post for emotional support as you work your way out of debt.

Becky

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:35pm
Hi Jeanette,

I think the most important thing is to take care of yourself and relax.

Money can be so stressful. It's important, but it's much more important

to take care of yourself and your family.

I don't much about debt consolidation. But if it can get you a better interest rate

and make your monthly payment more bearable, then it sounds great.

Hang in there. Don't be too hard on yourself. You have bigger things

than money to take care of!