New here - don't know where to start...

Avatar for aracasila
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Registered: 03-26-2003
New here - don't know where to start...
8
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 11:38am
Hello everyone. My name is Cara and I'm a SAHM of a toddler. I do not work because I have a problem with anxiety and I have not worked full time for over 2 years. Before that I bounced around from job to job, starting and then quitting when my anxiety got really bad - 15 in 7 years to be exact - and all the while I was getting into even more and more debt and not able to pay after awhile. I still have these debts from years ago hanging over my head plus some more accumulated since I knew I would not be able to work full time. I applied for disability so I could get medical insurance to help me get better and, hopefully, be able to have a normal life. I was denied due to the fact that A. I am not blind and B. My IQ is too high - doesn't make much sense to me because I'm claiming disability due to psychological reasons, but whatever. I had Medicaid for awhile, but no psychiatrists take it, so I'm still in the same boat. I'm so afraid I've ruined my life, not to mention my daughter's. I am currently working part-time from home (I live with my parents) but I get paid between 80 - 200 dollars every 2 weeks. My daughter's father helps us in buying food for the both of us and paying for whatever the baby needs, so I have any money I make to pay off debt, but I'm afraid this money won't even make a dent. He has terrible credit also and is trying to get his own straightened out. I'm at a loss at what to do. I tried Credit Counseling a few years ago, but I got really sick and quit my job and lost that account. I had bought a used car from one of those places that you pay 1/2 down and the other 1/2 within 9 months (they don't check credit and my dad loaned me most of the down payment) that I made sure I paid off before my daughter was born. I paid it off December 1st and she was born the 22nd, so I was soooo relieved that at least I wouldn't have a car payment. After it was paid off, I stupidly got minimal insurance due to Miami's insurance rates being sky-high, I could not afford full coverage. Wouldn't you know it, I got into an accident in October of last year, so there my car still sits in the driveway to this very day. I'm tired of having to depend on others to care for me and my daughter. I want to get my life straight and my bills paid and I want us to be on our own. I know it will be a long road and I need to find a way to get myself better so I can maintain my life once I get it back. I have an eviction on my record because of some no-good roommates who bailed on me and I could not afford the rent on our 2-bedroom apartment by myself. I owe about 3,000 to that company. I owe hospital bills from when my daughter was born - I don't even know how much - I'm afraid to look... and I owe some credit card bills (about 3,000 worth). Any ideas on how I can get moving in the right direction? SO is willing to help as much as he can, financially, because he wants to see me back on my feet, but I want that help to go towards the right things in the right way. I was really irresponsible in my past and I want to make up for it now. I hope it's not too late. I feel so worthless. Sorry about the novel, but I just wanted to give some backround. TIA for any suggestions!

Cara
Avatar for aracasila
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 6:28pm
Yes I checked that out and I can get free counseling - I just need to take the first step and actually go! Thanks for your help!

Cara
Avatar for aracasila
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 6:26pm
Thanks Lee Ann - I will check those out...I need all the help I can get!

Cara
Avatar for aracasila
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 6:24pm
Thanks Sandra - I know this is what I need to do. I am sooo scared of taking meds! I think it's partly from my anxiety - I won't even take aspirin for a headache. I think I need counseling too to get over my fear of meds before I can take any. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your depression and I hope you continue to do well with your medication. Thanks for your reply and understanding!

Cara
Avatar for mymartes
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 3:45pm
Many states have free medical clinic, where they see patients w/out insurance. You may want to look into that. In terms of the medications, I'm sure those free clinics help out with that.

Good luck.


MYM

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 3:08pm
Two books that helped me were 'The Feeling Good Handbook' and 'God's Psychiatry'. You can probably get them at the library.

Best of luck. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Lee Ann

Lee Ann

www.werenotafraid.com

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 2:49pm
Cara, (((Hugs))) to you first off. I agree with the last poster. You need to take care of your health. Without looking after that first it will be so much harder for you to take the other steps to get out of debt. I know you want to do this on your own (as you should) but in this instance could your parents help you out with the doctors visit? This is so important!! I have been suffering from depression and without medication I wouldn't even be able to deal with my financial matters. Medication can make a big difference and for something as important as this you may have to "owe" a bit more but in the long run it will cost you less (the sooner you feel better the sooner you can start working on your debt). I cannot tell you how much medication has helped me and it could help you to. When I was at my worse I could not make a decision (even the smallest of things) and I know from reading and researching depression that anxiety (and could you perhaps be depressed as well?) can be similar to depression in many ways. Please get help for you and your daughter. ((((HUGS))))

Sandra

Avatar for aracasila
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 1:42pm
Thanks Swash - I know that I need to take care of my health first, but it's so hard with no insurance and no doctor will see me without it. I will need to take baby steps like you said, but I don't know quite how to start. Thank you again for replying and I hope all works out for you too!

Cara
Avatar for swash25524
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 12:57pm
Aracasila,

I would say the first thing for you to work on is your anxiety attacks. There are medications these days that you can take that will allow you to live a normal life free of your attacks. After this you can start by giving yourself small goals to work on. You have stated alot of things in your post but the one thing that sticks out is your desire to want to change. That in itself is a beginning. Start small and take your first baby steps then keep reassessing your progress and goals. I have learned that my life is a work in progress and that there will be bumps and bruises along the way but if I can keep focused I will attain my goals.

swash25524

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