I need some support/I need to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I need some support/I need to vent
6
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 9:26am
I'm so tired, my dh and I are working so hard to get things straight that it's wearing on me. I've taken on a nighttime job, it's not everynight but last week it was twice during the week and than on Friday and Saturday night, Saturday night I started at 10pm and got out at 6am, that was a tough one. Making things harder is I have a dd who is 4 and ds who is 3, so it's tough. Also during the week I have to get up at 6am to watch another child, that I babysit for, but I'm doing this job to help with the problems we are having and my dh is working on weekends as well, plus his regular 40+ hour job. So anyways all that said, we finally got caught up on cable, phone, electric...etc, now just too keep it caught up and straight. Now on to cc's which might not be right away, till we get this all figured out but they keep calling day in and day out, I don't understand what that is all about, do they actually think, we won the lottery or have $300+ in a day or two? I'm just so frustrated and trying my hardest to get this all taken care of. There is only so much of this crap one person can take before they go off the deep end. So I just needed to vent and thanks for letting me do so!!

Corinna

Avatar for aracasila
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 9:44am
(((Hugs Corinna)))...I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. You must be exhausted from those hours, especially with 2 young children. Great job though on catching up on those bills....As for the CC companies, I know what you mean about them thinking we have all this money to pay now, lol! Don't you think I would have paid the darn bills if I had the money to? No, I LIKE sitting around avoiding phone calls, scared to open mail and all they while watching the bill get bigger and bigger with interest and fees!!!! This is my favorite pasttime in fact and I've gotten quite good at it, lol! I know how tough this is and I pray that you get yourself through this...you can do it!

Cara
Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 9:53am
Hugs!!! Congratulations on getting the utilities caught up.

Just some hugs and hang in there vibes for you.

Becky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 10:20am
I so know where you are! Until last week I was doing almost the exact same thing. I only have one child, a 2-year-old, but he is very attached to me and it was hard on him for me to be gone so much, and hard on dh & my relationship to never see each other. I was only working until 3 or 4 am, not till 6 (but I started at 5 pm), and I wasn't babysitting, so I can only imagine how infinitely tired and worn out and frustrated you must be!

But, isn't it a great feeling to be getting caught up on your bills? I remember right after I got my job, the sense of relief at not having to worry about which bills were going to go unpaid for yet another month. Yes, they're still calling you now, but soon you'll be paid up and the phone calls will stop. In the meantime, I suggest when they call you tell them, "look, I'm working 80-hour weeks {which you are, considering your mom-duties too) to get this caught up, and I will be caught up by (give them the expected date). In the meantime, you're accomplishing nothing by continuing to call me. Please stop harrassing me!" It may not help, but you'll probably feel better! LOL And remember to hold your head high. You are working your bum off to meet your obligations, and that you should be proud of.

Finally, remember it's temporary. One day, your debt will be paid off enough that your income will no longer be necessary, or at least that you can severely cut back your hours. Things will change. And then you'll come to that glorious day where you can post, "I quit my job! Hallelujah!" and know that your finances will be just fine. Or maybe you'll get to post like I did recently, "I got fired, hallelujah!" LOL In the meantime, when you hit those tough emotional spots, especially in your relationships with your children and husband, remember that it's the stress and that things will get better.

Hugs to you. You'll get through this, just take it one day at a time, hold your head up high, and try to keep a smile on your face.

Blessings,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 11:40am
Corinna, congratulations to you for getting utilities etc caught up. When I seriousley decided to get out of debt, I found that that was actually the hardest part of it (but also i think should be the first step). It is so much easier paying a $25 phone bill as opposed to a $50 one. It is really hard when all the other "non credit" bills are also * doubley* due. You will feel much more in control just having those caught up.

Remember the second jobs are just temporary. If you just know which bill you want to pay off first, then second etc... then you can kind of map it out (when you can quit the second job). Keep up the good work, please don't work too hard. Know your limits and remember to listen to your body. If the kids take a nap during the afternoon, turn off the ringer on the phone and lay down on the couch and take one too. Good luck to you and remember we are here for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 3:58pm
Thank you all for your kind words, I'm working hard on doing this and even working harder on getting ready to go to work tonight on not much sleep....he he! I'm so glad I found this board, it's wonderful!!

Corinna
Avatar for lovmy2kids
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 6:41pm
I am really proud of you! The bottom line to all of our debt is that we have to make more money than we pay out. You took a big step to go out in the evenings and make this happen. Good for you!

I also work nights because I cannot afford daycare during the day. Although it does help that my chosen proffesion is 24 hr 7 days week and working nights, weekends, and holidays are part of the deal.

I too would suggest laying down for a nap in the afternoons. It would be great if you could turn the phone down, but I assume if your babysitting that is not an option. I would be upset if someone was watching my kid and I couldn't get a hold of them.

Keep your chin up and hang in there! It will all work itself out in the end.

-Darcy