very depressed.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
very depressed.....
6
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 3:14pm
I just went to the Dr. yesterday for my depression - which has mainly built up due to my debt. I just can't get a handle on it and it's taken over my life. Has anyone else been this depressed over debt?
Avatar for beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-1998
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 3:33pm
I have not gotten that severe of depression over debt...just wanted to give you a hug.

Also, there is a Depression board on ivillage too that might help you some.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhdepression

Hugs!!

Becky

Becky - Mom to Carolyn (17), Aaron (15), Kyle (11) & Luke (8)
Send a free greeting card on me!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 6:48pm
(((HUGS))) to you. I can't say being in debt "caused" my depression but I have BTDT. I am still taking Zoloft and I congratulate you on going to the doctor. Will you be taking meds? Being depressed can really affect your ability to make a decision. When my dh and I were falling further into debt a few years ago our mortgage pymt was huge and I had a very hard time deciding to sell the house (something which is not like me to do). I was so depressed my dh would come home and the house would be a pigsty because I couldn't/didn't know where to start to clean (again not my usual self). My brain felt fuzzy and I constantly worried and constantly went over numbers in my head over and over again. I could not sleep (which does not help the depression) and thought of our finances all the time. Now I have been on meds for 1 1/2 years (it is recommened that you take them for two years) and it took me about a full year to really feel like my old self. I did feel better within a couple of months but to really get back to being happy etc took me a year. I also was depressed for about a year before I went to the doctor. It is so important that you continue to seek treatment. If you are at all like I was (not able to decide anything) you will want to get help so that you will be able to make some tough decisions with regards to your finances. Even though our financial picture has not changed much I feel so much happier with life in general and I feel a renewed sense of determination to make things in my life work they I want them to be. At the worst of my depression it felt like everything controlled me. I could not set goals. Could not decide what goals to set and what was the point? (thats how I felt) Nothing seemed doable. Now, I know I will own my own home (a new goal for me) and I will achieve my goal of being debt free and I am actively taking steps to get there. My goals and dreams seem obtainable again where once it felt like I was never going to get anywhere. I share my story with you so that you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you won't have to wait to get out of debt to be happy. Get happy and than get out of debt!

Sandra :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 8:29pm
I have struggled with severe depression and debt and the two are very related to each other. Depression is such a gray, cold place. When it was severe for me I would just lay in bed, immobilized ruminating about everything that was wrong. The more I did that the worse I felt but sometimes I could not stop. For me I needed to be in psychotherapy and it took a long time before I could fight the depression effectively. I stayed with it and now I do not get depressed anymore. I have bad days, times when I see more negative than positive but I have strategies.

I believe meds can help enormously, though I never took them. I also believe finding a therapist experienced at working with depression and then seeing them regularly is important. If money is an issue regarding therapy find your local agencies that offer reduced fees because they are funded by grants. Where I live people can have therapy for as low as $3 a session if they qualify.

It is a lot of work to fight depression and it is a lot of work to get out of debt. What makes you feel a little better? Try to do a little of that every day and keep posting here.

Hugs!

cl-12by10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 8:38pm
Yes, I get very depressed. I have not been at the point where I cannot make decisions; however, I have many times forced myself to wait a day or a week depending on the potential impact of the decision to be made.

I do have days where I could care less if the world imploded and where I don't want to get out of bed.

I have not sought treatment for two reasons: One, I am afraid that it could interfere with getting a better job in the future, as I am always looking for work; I'm qualified as a teacher but doing other things because there's no work in my area. The second reason that I don't want this depression on my medical records-or any prescription medication for depression on my medical records-is because it is a negative thing on a life insurance application. Those might be stupid reasons but they are good enough for me.

When I am really sad I usually just crawl into bed and try to sleep. Sometimes I try to read. Sometimes I go out and dig in my flower pots. I have finally started to dream about owning my own house.

I have plans for paying off my debt and I frequently assess them and readjust them if necessary. I find this to really help in keeping the depression at bay. I also organize the bills so that I can see the state of things and get a sense of where I am at. I avoided doing that for so long, but dealing with the bills head on really helps to cut the panic attacks and usually I get a sense that things are better than I feared. It helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I also have budgies. I find a pet to take care of is a really good motivator to keep myself together. There are many mornings when the only reason I have gotten out of bed is because I have pets that count on me to feed them and that really helps me keep going.

I hope this helps you to know you aren't alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 11:04pm
I think you have valid reasons for not taking meds. Everyone is different. some need meds, some need therapy and other the combination of the two.



Are you sure about this? I have just applied and have been accepted for life insurance at regular rates (Just recently and I am still on meds) and I have been clinically diagnosed three times and taken meds twice. I would check that out (just in case you ever do need meds). As for finding a job - I don't know how that would affect you but HOW would a potential employer know what meds you have taken? Just food for thought. I would hate to see you NOT take them IF you really needed them (and I am not saying you do).

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 11:22am
Good for you, for getting yourself to the doctor!!! That is a huge first step. I know b/c it took me several years to realize that my depression was too much to handle without help. I'm on meds and in therapy and for the first time in years, I'm starting to feel better.

Yes, being in debt can be a factor. Anything that gets you down can contribute to depression. And there can be a vicious cycle where you feel bad about your debt, but get to feeling so hopeless you can't bring yourself to do anything about it. And because of that, the debt keeps getting worse. Anything to break the cycle is a good thing. Meds are working for me, I'd encourage you to find what works for you.

As for the debt, first step is to gather all your papers together and get them organized, make a list of exactly how much you owe to where, your interest rates, etc. Just get a picture of exactly where you stand. Only then can you really start working on it. If a software program like quicken or ms money works for you, use it. Or start a spreadsheet in excel or whatever you have. Pencil and paper works just as well for a lot of people. You might want to try a debt calculator, here's my favorite, http://www.quicken.com/shopping/debt/ - it will help you see how long it takes to pay it off with minimums, and a visual of how much sooner you can pay it off with even $10 or $20 more per month.

And find support. If you find it here on the board, great. Sometimes it's easier in a forum like this, than it is in real life. You're anonymous, and no one here is going to judge you - the whole point is that we're all going through some of the same things! =)

Hang in there, you'll get through this! ~Jen