I am so stressed out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
I am so stressed out.
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 10:34am
Hello everyone,

I have been a lurker and probably posted here before I can't remeber. You guys are great and I have learned a lot from you guys. I read only book that you guys suggested "Get out of Debt, Stay out of debt and live prosperously, that book was good. Maybe I'm not looking at my situation from I don't know what to do. My SO just started working after a lapse in working. I have been trying to keep up with everything and not doing such a good job. I get paid tommorrow $1,123.28 But, My checking account is in the negative $530.21 I have written checks against this pay check of $492.39 (daycare $200, Food 128.03, pymt for my tv (big mistake)$164.36) I still owe my car $250, The light $327, The water $215, and backed up daycare $450. He will be getting paid on Friday $300. Also, I have this stupid payday advance loan that I took out about a month ago. But, because I keep needing the money to pay off bills I keep renewing it every two weeks when it is due. I owe $387 by Wed. This does not include that my license is suspended so, I am not able to get car insurance until I pay off or make some payment arrangement for $1500 for an accident that happened in 98 and my insurance at the time did not cover. His license is suspended for two tickets that he got while he was not working and could not afford to pay them. We have two children in daycare and I'm pregnant with a third child due in August. I don't have medical insurance and have been denied medicaid because I make too much money. I have terrible credit do not own a credit card and neither does he. He did a chapter 13 last sept. to keep the house and we are backed up again in the mortgage by three payments which they want by June 1st. $2,200. How can I get out of this mess, these aren't bills I can go without paying because they'll either shut my service off, not accept my children in daycare, take my car away or worse get stopped by the police and get into more trouble, and take my house away. He gets paid $300 weekly and I get paid $1,123 every two weeks. Any ideas or am I hopeless?

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 11:02am
Ok, deep breath! Luckily your paycheck will get your checking account out of the red and cover the checks you wrote. So you won't have any bounced check fees for now.

I have a few suggestions. The weather's nice so why not plan a garage sale for this weekend? Your goal is the $380 to pay off that payday loan for good. Haul out everything you can think of and sell it.

You mentioned a tv? Could you take it back? Even if there's a restocking fee, it might be worth it. Clean it up and see if you can return it. Or try to sell it for what you owe on it.

How about the car? Do you have a second car that would allow you to get rid of the one

you're paying on? How about public transportation? Do any friends or family members have a car that they could allow you to borrow for a few months until you get caught up?

Do you have any "extras" that you could cut? Cell phones, cable, storage fees, pawn shop fees, eating out, etc. Could you find a less expensive daycare or get a teenager to babysit for the summer? How about switching job hours so that you don't need daycare at all?

Is it possible for either of you to pick up a second job, even just for a while? I work with a lady who gets up early and delivers papers. I don't know exactly what she makes but I know it pays surprisingly well. Maybe you or your SO could paint houses this summer. Or wait tables one weekend night.

There is definitely hope! It's just going to take some creativity to rebound from the unemployment. Hang in there and remember it's just money. It doesn't define you or mean you're a bad person. You just owe some money and you will find your way out of this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 11:45am
Hi jlrmom2001: Wow, you are carrying some serious financial burdens right now. Several qualify as emergencies IMO that need addressing sooner rather than later: 1) you have no medical insurance with two children and a baby expected soon; 2) you are driving with a suspended license and no car insurance; and 3) you are falling in arrears on your mortgage.

Your health and that of your children is paramount. How do you cover doctor's bills when your children are sick? You must be spending a fortune out of pocket. How will you cover hospital bills when your baby comes due? You mention that your income exceeds Medicaid limits. Does your employer offer medical insurance? If so, I would try everything in your power to be added to your employer's medical plan. I know that companies have specific enrollment periods, but surely a hardship situation would merit special consideration?

Sell your car. Every time you turn on the ignition and pull out of your driveway, you are taking a huge risk both in terms of your financial and physical well being and those of others. What if, by some terrible circumstance, you were in an accident and were hurt, or injured someone else while you were driving without insurance and a license? You might never recover (financially at least). Until you can pay off the $1500 for the prior accident and reinstate your license and insurance, you have a responsibility not to drive. Use the proceeds from the sale of the car to pay off your SO's tickets so that he can reinstate his license (and use his car) as well as to pay other immediate needs, such as funds for the upcoming medical bills for your baby if you cannot obtain medical insurance through your employer.

Sell your home. You don't mention what your mortgage is, only that your are three months in arrears. Whatever the amount, the mortgage (even after filing a bankruptcy) appears too much for you to handle right now. Find an apartment large enough for your family until you can back on your feet financially.

A couple of questions: Do you receive any type of child support? Does your SO work full time? If not, could he care for the kids at least part of the week to help reduce the cost of daycare?

Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

Avatar for lovmy2kids
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 12:44pm
Hang in there, things are not completely hopeless. First of all do not use those payday advances again. They are killing you finacially. You need every bit of your paycheck, and right now they have you trapped into a cycle.

Your monthly income is actually pretty decent, you just have not managed your money well. I have been there. You need to make some extra money to get things back to a manageable state. Have a yard sale, sell things on e-bay, maybe one of you has a trade where you can do some side work. Another option would be to for one of you to work nights so you can eliminate childcare expenses temporarily, or maybe you could work part-time in the evenings at the daycare to reduce your cost. It's only going to go up when the 3rd baby arrives. You need to look around for another job that offers medical insurance if yours does not. Do not quit your job until you have another. Medical insurance is a must for 3 little ones. If one of them gets a major illness or injury, not to mention the cost when baby is born you will be paying medical bills for years and years to come.

It would be a good idea for you to visit the budgeting tips and ideas board as well. You need to figure out a monthly budget. Once you get things back undercontrol and your money is budgeted appropriately I think you will see that it's not the amount of money you make thats the problem.

-good luck,Darcy


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 8:20pm
I just wanted to send you ((((((HUGS)))))). Everyone has given you some good advice. Please keep us posted about your situation!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 8:42am
sounds like your tv is a rental if so take it back you can do with out for now

find a cheaper day care someone at work might know of one or a friend who needs some

money and you can pay 1/2 of the regular costs.

Family member to sit with the kids.

I am thinking you already paid alot of this

let your checks clear and pay cash for the next week on stuff until his next paycheck

wenesday oweing the 387 pay half on wenesday and post date a check for friday for the next pay day some places will let you do that.

electric and water call them and set up arrangements and go to their office and pay in person or some utilities you can pay at a bank.

start making payment arrangements I am not sure what this back up day care is

if that was for when your other day care was not available or what?

but get rid of it, and find an alternative

some churches have day care for less money,

also see if you qualify through the state for assistance on day care.

depending on your state qualifications you might get a reduction.

look around for insurance on the internet they have programs for insurance.

get your arrangement made for the 1500 on the car accident

alot of what you have to do is phone work.

I don't know what he does but he better be looking for a job with benefits and better pay,

so you can have time off when baby is due.

My husband use to bring that home we barely made it now he is a truck driver and pay is

up and down lowest pay was 400 a week highest being 1100 for one week take home.

if you want to write more details can't help too much not a big enough picture here.