Very worried about debt

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Very worried about debt
10
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 10:54am
Howdy everyone. DH and I are visiting a financial planner this afternoon so that we can get ourselves in order and start family planning. This is also one week post-tax season. DH is self employed, and until this year, has not filed estimated taxes. Within a matter of one week, we are now 57K in debt, mostly by putting taxes on CC's. I'm somewhat shocked and definitely horrified by this. Needless to say I'm searching high and low for a job right now!

Our current plan is to apply ALL of my earnings towards debt reduction, and run our lives on his income. That way, when I stop working to care for a family, we won't miss my income for every day expenses.

I seem to have gone from being about 5K in debt (down from 16K), to being more than my yearly income in debt SOOOO FAST. :( This doesn't even account for the cars and the mortgage! That's just cc's.

I'm trying to calm down...I'm trying to calm down....

Thanks for listening,

Danni

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 11:25am
Wow, Danni, that stinks! :( What a blow to a getting out of debt plan! Being self-employed is incredibly expensive (I've been there), which is such a shame, since it's so great in so many other ways.

Well, I know you'll get through this. One day at a time! I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

Blessings,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 11:32am
Take a deep breathe! I think alot of people are charging these days. I know I am. SO many things have come up recently that we have had no choice but to charge. Hopefully, things have calmed down for us and our bowling season is over so that is a big entertainment expense we will not have for about 3 months.

Hang in there - things will get better~

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 11:46am
Ooh boy. Hang in there. I know it seems overwhelming but you will put together

a plan. You'll be ok. It may take you a little longer to get out of debt but

you'll get there.

I know it sounds cliche but the important thing is that you have each other and

your health. Everything else you can figure out over time. HUGS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 1:01pm
Congratulations on your marriage! I, too, know what it's like to enter into a marriage and find yourself suddenly immersed in debt. I found myself in your situation after having lived single and nearly debt-free for 12 years. I knew that my DH was entering our marriage with debt left over from a previous marriage. His debt was just one of the adjustments I had to undergo of learning to share (the good and the bad) with someone else. Was it worth it? Absolutely. However, I had to learn that my DH's debt wasn't his alone. When I married him, "his" debt became "our" debt, but it took me a while to figure that out. At first, I wanted him to focus solely on working his debt down while I managed our finances (paying bills, mortgage, food, etc.). What happened was that I allowed my CC debt to increase to cover expenses for two people while he was successfully paying down his CC balances. So, in effect we were simply swapping our debt (his for mine). I had to learn (am still learning?) to let go of the financial reins enough to communicate with him our financial picture as a whole -- we're doing that by creating a single household budget and sharing a joint checking account for shared bills, utilities, etc. in addition to separate checking accounts.

If I could share some advice: Don't let the stress of your debt minimize the joy of the wonderful honeymoon period you're in now (or later for that matter). You and your DH are a team; you'll work that debt down together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 8:34pm
I just wanted to send hugs your way...I don't have anything wise to add, but I wanted to say that it is nice to have you back. Congrats on your marriage! You'll make it through okay.
Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 10:05pm
Thanks rebeccalouise - it's nice to be back. I hope all is well with you! I've really missed everyone here.

Danni

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 10:22pm
Dear Danni,

Sending (((((HUGS)))))) and positive thoughts your way. I've missed you and you have always been so positive and so THERE for everyone here. You know, what goes around comes around. Now it's your turn to receive positive thoughts and hugs from everyone here.

I know that I went from totally debt free to marrying a "sailor' in debt, divorced and no clue about money. Together then we have gotten into debt over the past 26 years. But we are also going to get out of it together, with our kids (21 girl and 18 boy )learning right along with us. Thank God you have your health, your love for each other and so many blessings, especially from me and others here.

Love,

Pat
Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 9:04am
Awww - thank you so much. It's only 6 am here and I'm all teary eyed :) I appreciate your kindness. I know we'll get through this - we always do - it's just that I didn't see that OTHER mountain in front of me while I was demolishing the first one, ya know? :)

Danni

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 10:27am
Hi Danni

Please don't worry too much. It sounds like you have a great plan. Putting your whole salary toward the debt will work wonders. You have it all under control. You just found out that your debt has increased dramatically and you came up with a solution right away instead of burying your head in the sand. That's great, many people would have just ignored the situation and hopes it *all goes away*.

This may seem strange, but look on the bright side, at least you were able to pay your taxes by cc. It would have been *A LOT* worse if you had *no* way to pay them. You know how the IRS loves penalties. So anyway, they were paid and you are not in tax trouble.

Now you can sit down with the accountant and figure out how much you should send in for quarterly estimated taxes and this won't happen again.

I really love the way you two work together. It sounds like you will have a very succesful marriage. Best of luck to you1!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 2:41pm
That must have been terribly hard news for you to find out. Beyond the new job to help pay off the debt, maybe you should look into ways to reduce the taxes of your husband's business. An accountant (not financial planner) might be able to offer you some real advice on reducing the taxable income while maximizing your personal income.