Just want to say hi and introduce myself

Avatar for judy_jetson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Just want to say hi and introduce myself
7
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 11:31am
Hello everyone. I lurk here all the time, every day in fact, but never had the courage to post. I have used so many of your ideas, this truly is a great bord. I am 33 and recently re-married to a truly great man. We got married in November in Las Vegas, so much fun! We have no children yet, but do have a very large, goofy and loveable dog. We own our condo in Mass. Together we have a combinded debt total of almost $20,000.00. There, I wrote it. So scary, but I know we can overcome this and get rid of it. I just received the book by Jerrold Mundis "How To Get out of Debt, Stay out of Deb & Live" (I wanted to keep this and refer back to it, so I bought it, but got it at half.com for really cheap money) and WOW is all I can say. Like anyone else, I can totally relate to this book and so many of the examples. The good thing is that our credit is pretty good and we have not missed any payments. We also haven't charged anything that we haven't paid in full. This debt is old debt that I want gone. When I first met my husband, he was in a financial mess. He made a good salary, just didn't balance his checkbook or pay attention to what was on time or late. Thankfully, he let me help him turn himself around and has gotten so much better in the past 2 years. I have too, but I want to just get rid of this debt!!! I have also come up with a great budget that I feel we can stick to. It just means not eating out as much and wasting our money. I am going to start tracking my money, however, I can't get my husband to do that yet. He feels as if I am hen-pecking him if I ask about it. However, we both get an allowance, and he has really managed that well in the past few months. He realizes that we need to get out of this and generally follows my suggestions. He doesn't want anythin to do with the bills and I don't mind handling them. He does know though what we owe and what we pay.

In reading Jerrold's book he suggests to just put the bills away for 1 month and forget about them. Has anyone done this? I am so terrifed to do that! I don't want to incur late charges! But if others have done this and it works for them, I would like to hear about how they liked it.

I will be posting more often and doing the weekly check-in. Have a happy debt-free day!

JJ

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 12:48pm
Hi JJ,

I try to live by Mundis' book, but the past couple of months have been awful for me. I thought his suggestion of not paying bills for a month was too extreme - maybe for people on the verge of bankruptcy, or a nervous breakdown, but I wasn't "that bad" ;-p

Most of my debt was incurred in 1995, when I owned a house, a 'diamond in the rough'. My husband at the time is a paint contractor, so he bartered painting for half a new roof, excavation, landscaping, things like that. He sold a bunch of antiques that were in a pile in his basement, and made enough to asphalt the driveway. I thought I should keep up my end, and squashed our five year plan into a 1.5 year plan, using credit cards. Then he left me. I spent 8 months in the house by myself, using credit card checks to pay the mortgage. When I was finally all maxed out, I had to sell the house before the bank took it. My car died, and I used a credit card for the down payment. It was awful. I had to share the measly profit with him (even though I had bought the house with my money, and it was in my name) because Massachusetts laws created to protect wives from husbands who leave them in a lurch worked against me, and since we were married before I bought the house, I had to share the profit. It didn't even come close to paying off my credit cards. He took all the furniture, so when I moved from a 9 room house to a 2 room basement apartment, I charged all my furniture. I paid the divorce lawyer with credit card checks. It was awful. I wasn't even pretending to think about paying off the cards. For 7 years I carried that $25K debt with me, paying sometimes $400 in finance charges.

Finally, last July 4 I read Mundis' book. I sat on my porch for the whole holiday, rocking in my chair, and pulling my head out of the sand. It was my Independence from Financial Ignorance day. Since then I've paid off $15K of the credit card debt. Unfortunately, I had an uninsured emergency room visit last December, and now my total debt is $13K. But I'm working on it. I'm also expecting an inheritance (since last June, ugh!) and it really may appear this May. I'm trying to be financially responsible now, so I don't just end up in the same boat.

Anywho, welcome to the board. Know that you can do this, and there is a way out.

Lee Ann

Lee Ann

www.werenotafraid.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 2:11pm
Hello, and welcome to the board. It sounds like you are doing great and have developed plans to handle your debt.

My DH and I use an allowance in our spending plan. Using an allowance, I think, is one of the best moves we've made to get our spending under control. We use our allowance for gas and misc expenses. I don't track any of this money. The allowance my DH gets is his money. I always thought I could control my DH's spending if he didn't have any money. Wrong. He would just write checks or use the debit card and there was no limit. He knew we had money so he could spend some. Nothing expensive or drastic just unnecessary spending. Now he has his money, knows how much he has and knows when it's gone.

Good luck on your plans.

Julie

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 5:22pm
Hey JJ! Thanks so much for posting :) It sounds like you're the financial backbone in your household - congrats.

I did read the Mundis book, but I never took a month off from paying the bills. I agree with a previous poster that the suggestion is for severe cases (pre bk or pre funny farm). If you were at your wits end and not able to pay the mortgage, then I say forget everyone and pay the mortgage, otherwise, I would go with status quo until you've developed a plan of attack for the debt.

Please do post again!

All my best,

Danni


Edited 5/1/2003 12:45:37 PM ET by cl-phocid

All my best,
Danni

Avatar for judy_jetson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 8:00am
Hi! Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I don't feel comfortable at all not paying bills, I'm not close at all to bankruptcy and think that is too extreme. Glad to be on the board and I look forward to posting more.

Thanks!

Avatar for judy_jetson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 8:03am
Hi and thanks for the reply!

I allow money each month for our allowances. He also does side work and just recently I have suggested that he keep that money. It would be great to use it towards our debt, but it's not consistent and I really want him to learn to manage money. I look forward to posting more.

Thanks!

Avatar for judy_jetson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 8:04am
Thanks!
Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 6:00pm
Just wanted to say "Welcome". I have not read Jerrold's book (can't find it anywhere) I am going to look where you did. Wish me luck!

Susan

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