Feeling nervous

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Feeling nervous
11
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 11:37pm
My h deposited our income tax check today. The teller told him it will be cleared tomorrow. I'm feeling a little nervous about having this money in the account. I feel that my h knowing all this money is there, he'll be tempted to spend unwisely. First thing tomorrow, I will be calling the cc to make payment over the phone. I would think it will be credited quicker than mailing a check. I would also be transferring some to our emergency fund. Unfortunately, the savings acct. is linked to our checking.

I've been praying about this. May sound a little petty to some of u. However, with my h's past track record on spending money, I have reason to feel a little nervous about it.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

MYM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 11:59pm
i feel your pain. My h is that way. He'll think hey, it's only a couple of bucks. Then he'll see something else and something else, before he knows it, 50 bucks gone. And I get really tired of saying "we don't have the money". Like I'm the big meany. Mrs. Tightwad. He'll say he understands, but I guarantee as soon as he thinks we have a little bit money, let's go out and eat. Ugh, there goes 30 bucks. I get fustrated and try to remind him of the "partnership" we're in and "our" goal of getting out of debt. Sometimes, in one ear out the other!! UGH!! I'm telling you, there is something missing on that Y chromosome!! lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 12:01am
I do not think your concerns are "petty" as you put it. You have valid reason to be concerned. You received a hefty refund. I would like to make a suggestion and that is to give *yourself* and *dh* a little spending money. That way he can splurge and get that urge out of his system. I think it helps to have a reward now and than. It does not have to be a lot but it is something to consider.

Also have you considered opening an ING account? I just opened one up and although it is joint dh doesn't have the password to it and therefore no access. I am able to transfer the money online. the only drawback is that it does take a couple of days for the transfer to go through. Its great for not being able to spend it though. You have to really think about transferring money (back to your chequing) because it takes a few days.

Hope it all goes well tomorrow.

Sandra

Avatar for judy_jetson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 8:11am
I agree, take maybe $100.00 (or however much you decide for each of you and be able to splurge on yourself. I think that we sometimes get so caught up in tackling our debt that we don't think of rewarding ourselves sometimes. Just a thought and good luck!

JJ

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 10:27am
I understand completely and have felt the same way before! What I did to help was having an emergency fund at another bank. With $200 there are no fees. And I don't have an ATM for it. So if there is a valid emergency, car or medical, I can get some cash. Right now there is only $200 in it, because I am snowflaking, but one day it will grow.

But I get so sick of telling H we have no money when he freakin' knows that! Sorry, but we had a fight this morning about it because he went to the Tigers baseball game, while it was raining and bought a ticket (it was only $8 for bleachers) and surprise it got rained out (duh!) and then asks if I want to go out to dinner with him when we went out on Sat, Tues and are meeting out of town friends tomorrow. No, I don't want to! I want to be able to pay our bills on time for once.

rant over.

Rebecca

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 11:41am
Rebecca,

My h likes to spend $ on computer software, books, dvds, etc. I start to feel like a broken record. We are meeting out of town friends tomorrow. They will be here for the weekend.

Thanks for the suggestion on the emergency fund. Opening an acct. in another bank is a good idea. However, I would need ATM.

MYM

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 12:41pm
I hope everything works out. I think giving a bit of splurge cash is a good idea - and then let him know you've already paid the $ to the cc. He needs to understand that the refund money is GONE.

Take care - you are absolutely NOT petty :)

All my best,
Danni

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 12:57pm
I know how you feel too. Sometimes I feel like a nag or worse yet, "mommy".

But I know when we can buy our dream house or he can start his own business because

we have money in savings, he's going to understand what this was all about.

Not that he's ungrateful now but sometimes I feel like I "spoil the fun".

And I'm all for occasional splurges too, for both of us. This year's tax refund paid for my vacation. So this month, because we get an extra check, he's taking the whole thing to buy a motorcycle. It's nice to take "extra" income and use it for something fun if you can swing it.

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 3:32pm
Sandra,

I gave myself $500 for a new wardrobe. I need one badly. I'll give a $100 or so to my H, so he can spend it on what he wants.

I haven't opened an ING acct. because I need access to it. In otherwords, I would need to be able to go to an branch or atm. I just can't give my H easy access to it.

My mom came over earlier and stayed w/the kids. I went to citibank and opened an acct to use for emergency only w/atm card. I didn't link a checking acct. (that would be toooo easy). I opened it w/$500. I feel better knowing we have 500 for emergencies only.

Thanks for your suggestion.

MYM

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 4:02pm
I am so glad you opened up another account. That way you can rest easy knowing you have some extra $ on hand. Kudos to you for getting a new wardrobe!! I badly need one too (I have a 5 mos old and my old clothes don't fit but it will have to wait awhile). Wearing baggy clothes will have to do for now. LOL. YOU have made me feel very empowered! Having read so many of your posts I have come to believe you are awsome!!! I have no doubt you will succeed!!

Sandra

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mymartes
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 5:09pm
Thanks Sandra for your kids words.

MYM

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