OT - thinking of quitting

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
OT - thinking of quitting
12
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 3:48pm
I know most of you are going to read this and think - I am crazy! but I am thinking about quitting my job. Well I guess to put it more accurately, I have been thinking of quitting for two years now and now I am actually trying to figure out what we will do if I do quit.

I know this is totally irresponsible but I just can't take it anymore. Everyday I go home crying, and almost every night I go to bed hoping that I will never wake up. On sunday I am depressed because monday I have to go to work. Now it has gotten so bad that I am thinking about memorial day weekend and thinking 'yay a 3 day weekend, that means only 4 days of work the next week, gosh I have to work 4 days next week! what am i going to do, how am I going to get through it.'

Right now financially we are doing ok, pretty well actually, I have been paying down our debt and saving a little, so that now we only have $9000 on the car loan and $2700 on one credit card. (plus our mortgage and student loans that are in deferrment) So I figure if I quit and get another job making 2/3 of what I make now, (I only contribute 1/3 of my income to monthly bills and currently the other 2/3 is going to savings and debt) then I could still meet our bills, it would just take us a lot longer to get out of debt. and we would need to stick to our budget better.

I just dont know, my parents always fought about money becuase they didnt have enough of it, I said I never wanted to be like that. So I feel so irresponsible for wanting to give up a good job, but I really dont know how much longer I can go on like this. I was planning for a year and a half then I would have enough saved to go to law school starting fall 2004, but I really dont think I can take it that long. This job is ruining my life. I am getting sick - migraines mostly but other stress related stuff - and my relationship with my husband is suffering.

I guess I just want some objective opinions. DH says that I should try to do something proactive at work (like asking to be transferred to a different position or department) to help the situation and if that doesnt work then quit. I really dont think that will work (my company is now known for moving people easily) but I am willing to try as long as I have the backup of being able to quit.

Am I totally crazy for thinking this is an option?

Meg

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 4:02pm
Meg,

I feel for you. I am working my last week at a terrible place. Luckily I found another job AND it pays more. My supervisor is out of control horrible, and I have worked with difficult people in the past! The thing is management knows, but they won't do anything about her because she is one of those workhorse people, works 12 hours a day and doesn't ask for over-time, you know the type. I am sorry, but I work to live, not the other way around.

It seems like your unsecured debt is low (at least compared to mine!). If I were you I would start looking for something else immediately, everyday, and then when you get an offer, jump ship. My whole attitude has improved since putting my notice in, hubby, friends and family are all thrilled for me, I feel like waking up everyday! That extra 1/3 isn't worth your marriage and health, is it?

Hope this helps some,

Rebecca

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 4:19pm
I'm thinking along those same lines. I've mentioned that I'm willing to take a 20% cut in pay and take Fridays off because it's so slow here. I would LOVE that! My bills would still be covered, and my debt would be paid off more slowly, but I'm willing to bet that I could find many ways to save money, and the difference in pay would hardly be noticeable compared to how happy I'd be to have three-day weekends all the time. Woo hooo!!!

I like Rebecca's idea for you to find another job, then quit the one you have. That takes care of the fear of uncertainty, and gives you something positive to focus on to help you get through your last days there.

Good luck!

Lee Ann

www.werenotafraid.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 9:28pm
I worked a long time in a lousy job that didn't pay much and wasn't full time but I stuck at it because I was scared of not being able to find anything else. I was always like you describe yourself: miserable, headaches, counting down the time to the end of my shift, looking forward to the days I didn't have to work but not necessarily enjoying them because of the thought of having to return to the job. I swear if someone had given me a gun while at work and told me to shoot myself, there are times I might have done it, just to end the misery of being at the job. I'm not joking.

It came down to staying at the job or keeping my relationship with my boyfriend. I quit. Our relationship would not have survived had I stayed at the job. Also, a lot of my unsecured debt is because I never made enough to make ends meet...but I was downtrodden and scared that I wouldn't find anything else.

I like the other person's suggestions of finding something else and then quitting, but I would urge you not to type your resume while at your present job...it could have negative consequences if someone catches you. Of course I have no idea what you do, but just thought that I would mention it. On the other hand, if you really cannot cope, and your husband supports you, why don't you just quit? Is it likely that you would be able to find something else quickly? I felt so much better about myself after I quit that lousy job that it made looking for a new one that much easier.

I don't think you are crazy from wanting to quit a job that makes you miserable, no matter how much it pays you. I guess you just have to look at how fast you figure you could find a new job, how much savings you have to live on, and how your finances would fare if you just up and quit, and make your decision based on that. Hope it all works out for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 10:12pm
The best thing that happened to me recently was losing my job.

I didn't hate it as much as you seem to hate yours, but it was making my son cranky being away from me 30 hours a week, and I never saw my husband, who worked an opposite shift, and I was tired all the time, and my son resented his dad because he associated his presence with my absence, and so on.

I knew I could afford to quit, but I felt like I ought to hang in a little longer and pay off a bit more debt. They never did me a bigger favor than when they fired me. I am so happy not to be working there!!!

Your quality of life needs to be your number one priority. If you can still meet your obligations, who cares if it takes you longer to get out of debt, if you're happy? Life is not about paying debt. Be happy. Obviously, you should continue to meet your obligations and do what you can to continue paying down your debt, but don't be a slave to it.

Good luck!

Blessings,

Heather

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 10:16pm
OK, here is my 2 cents worth and I know you will all think I'm completely off my rocker but this is my feeling on the matter. Life is way too precious to stick at a job that is physically making you sick and completely depressed that you go home crying. That is just not right. That is beyond the normal, I'm not thrilled with my job but it pays the bills deal, we all have that occasionally, etc...

Sounds to me as since your hubby has no problem with it and you aren't relying on your income 100% for living expenses, I would definately quit. It would be better to find a new job first before jumping ship but if the stress is that bad, I might consider jumping ship beforehand.

HUGS to you and "it's only money".

Becky

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 11:10pm
QUIT! Make tomorrow your last day.

Life is too short to work a job you hate & is making you sick.

Then, have a GREAT week-end knowing you don't have to go back to that job Monday, or EVER!

mslvp@sbcglobal.net

Cruise and Group Specialist

HAVE A GREAT DAY!  (OR EVENING!)

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 1:07am
I quit my job in February of this year, and I have not looked back! Sure - it mostly sucks that I'm still out of work, but I was suffering severe stress (I know too well the sinking stomach feeling on Sunday nite when you realize Monday will come too soon if you fall asleep). I had a bad manager, a terrible co-worker, and the company was doing lousy. I started feeling my heart skipping beats, and that's when I realized I needed to get out, and get out fast.

NO amount of money is worth your health and sanity, IMO. While it would be nice to have another job lined up, I decided it wasn't necessary for me - it was far more important to get out of that toxic environment.

HTH

Danni

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 8:33am
I'm on the 'go ahead and quit' side here too. I had a job that i hated, I was miserable and used to come home crying. I went on vacation and knew on the first monday of my vacation that I couldn't go back, so I went back in and gathered my stuff and gave my notice.

And I haven't looked back. My husband was working at the time, and we were still able to meet debts, so it wasn't bad that way. Took a couple weeks to think about it and ended up going to university and picking up a ton of new skills.

When you're laying on your death bed I doubt you'll say "gee, I really should have stayed at that crappy job I hated".

good luck!

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 8:43am
I would definitely make plans to get out. But I wouldn't necessarily quit tomorrow.

That's one of the downfalls of being in debt-you don't always have the luxury of

quitting on the spot. At least I don't. Maybe you do and if so, you should.

But otherwise, I would start aggressively looking for something else.

And I think your husband had great ideas-as long as you approach the possibility

of staying there with an open mind. It might be tough given the way you feel

about the place.

I think the other important thing to do is to really come to terms with WHAT you

hate about your job. Do you have a terrible supervisor or unbearable co-workers?

Is it tedious and unfulfilling? Or super high-pressure?

Were there things that you did or didn't do that made it worse or better?

That might give you some ideas on how to change things.

And if you end up going somewhere else, it'll give you a good idea of what will make

you happier.

I definitely agree that life is too short to be so unhappy in a job. Debt or not,

you deserve to wake up in the morning and not dread the day. I don't actually know

of anyone who pops out of bed happy to go to work (it seems like I only read about jobs like that in magazines!) but it should be relatively pleasant and you shouldn't have to get sick thinking about it.

I hope you find something better soon!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 11:55am
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate hearing your opinions. I feel so much better just having made the decision that I CAN quit. Right now becuase I am feeling a little better, I am going to stick it out while I look for another job. But if things get worse again, then I can quit, and that feels good. So I dont feel as stressed about anything becuase I feel like, what is the worst they could do? fire me? so what!

I mean I know it is never good to get fired. And it is not that I want to get fired, but it just makes me feel better becuase I don't care so much. I feel like I hold some cards now, not just them.

Meg

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