Hi all! Newbie, been lurking awhile

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Hi all! Newbie, been lurking awhile
6
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 4:37pm
Hi all!

I lurk here every now and then and decided that I would go ahead and post. I saw someone post about the Voluntary Simplicity board and have been lurking around there as well. Anyhow, here's my situation. Dh and I are in debt up to our ears. Every now and then I completely stress about whether we will be able to pay our bills, buy food, etc. We have $36,000 of unsecured debt, a $23,000 auto loan, $120,000 mortgage loan, on top of utilities, food, clothing, auto ins, life ins, daycare, and preschool. We don't have cable, we just got rid of our cell phone, and we only have caller id and call notes on our phone (plus long distance - which is only $5 a mo). I use coupons as much as possible and we are able to shop at the commissary which saves us a bundle. My kids are ds-4 1/2 and dd-2 1/2 (still in diapers). Both dh and I work FT and we bring in about $3100.00 a mo. We have tried cutting back on places as much as possible and we are even thinking of getting rid of our new vehicle and buy my sisters (which is only 3yrs old). However, right now we are currently upside down on our new vehicle (we still owe a little more than what the blue book value is on it). Dh wants the kids to go to private school, which is fine with me, however, it's so expensive. Both of them will be going to preschool next yr. Ds has already been one year. Anyway, starting in September we will be paying $200 for preschool and $600 for daycare for both of them.

I am always the one that looks ahead and dh is the one that only sees the present and is not very good at planning ahead. We have been in debt since we've known each other but it's just gotten worse. It started to decline when dh joined the army and then when I moved with him to his duty station I took a $10,000 yr paycut from my job at home to one at our duty station. Well, he is now out and has a decent job and still is in the NG and I have a decent job, but it seems like we are not getting anywhere.

Well, enough of my ramblings.

Thanks all for listening.

Michelle


signature 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 6:12pm
Hi Michelle. Welcome! You sound like you're really dedicated and want to make changes. Yay! You're in the right place for the emotional support to keep going.

While I understand your desire for your children to go to private school, it doesn't really sound like you can afford it right now. Can you wait on that until DS starts first grade?

Can either you or your husband get a second job in the evening? That extra income can go directly to debt and will help so much with seeing balances go down. It's not a permanent measure; it's just until you have a smaller credit card balance.

Have you looked at Debt Questions and Answers for help on how to get out of debt? I also recommend Budget Tips & Ideas and Tracking Our Spending. Also, take a look at the article suggestions in the Recommended for this Community section at the top of the board. :o)

CM Ms Joe Cool

Senior Community Moderator

moneylifecm@mail.ivillage.com

Ms Joe
CM Ms Joe Cool
Senior Community Moderator
moneylifecm@mail

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 6:20pm
Hi Michelle, I'm in debt up to my ears too. Isn't it nice knowing we're not alone in our struggles!

Lorraine

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 10:13am
Hi cmmsjoecool,

I have discussed with hubby about the kids going to private school, telling him that it's expensive and we really can't afford it. He has said that he wants them to go to private school (he did all his life, but his parents could afford it). Don't think I don't speak up, b/c believe me I do. LOL I just kinda feel the same way he does now. I went to public schools all my life, but honestly since ds has gone this school yr I don't think I would want them to be any other place. Dd will start next school yr and ds will be in pre-k next yr, and they go to the school at the parish we belong to. I really like it! And since ds is a really active little boy and needs the more one-on-one he gets it at the school he's going to. Hubby has spending problems (since I've known him! lol) so I've told him that in order for the kids to keep going to school there he has to watch his money better. In fact I have now taken away his debit cards and have told him that I will only give him $20 a week and to let me know when he needs gas for his car. Other than that he has no control over the cash.

As for the 2nd job, yes dh has thought about it numerous times. It used to be that I was the one discouraging him from it, cuz I still wanted him to spend quality time with the kids and I and told him that we will work through it. Well, after he gets back from his 2 week annual training (he's in the National Guard) he said that he will be getting another job in the evenings. Which will be the end of June. Also, he has been trying to put in as much over time as he can at his current job, and it has helped immensely.

I know what we need to do and I'm always keeping track of what we owe. I just get a little down about it at times and it's depressing. I just don't want to go through my whole life like this and then I also worry about the "what ifs...".

Thanks for listening and thanks for your response. I will be sure to check out the things you suggested.

Thanks again!

Michelle


signature 2008

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 10:19am
Yes, it is nice to know I'm not alone! I have been lurking on this board every now and then and reading some of the other peoples posts it doesn't make me feel so bad to be in the situation I'm in. I mean I do feel bad, but it's a little better that I'm not the only one! lol Anyway! :-)

BTW I am a flybaby as well. I love Flylady, I think she's amazing. She also has helped to curb the spending. When I go shopping now I find me asking myself "Do I really need this?" "Do I love it?"! LOL Not to mention I have gotten rid of so much STUFF the past yr, it's a great feeling! And even my son has no problem of getting rid of some of his things. I always tell him that it is going to kids that don't have anything. Plus, he now fixes his bed, gets dressed, and brushes his teeth every morning. I still have to remind him, but at least it's getting done! lol

Thanks for the response!

Michelle


signature 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 10:57am
I'm a flybaby too, although I stopped the emails, couldn't hack them although I might sign up again and see if I can automatically delete everything except the testimonials.

We're doing much better here now that we have routines and a decluttered house. Our lives went nuts when two kids came along 1.5 years apart, on top of moving 3 times in that 1.5 years, flylady finally helped bring some sense of order to it all (they're 4 and 3 now). She stopped my shopping too and I look at any future purchases the same way you do, it's nice not needing to buy something for a psychological boost anymore.

Well hopefully we'll all still be around to see each other post our "yah i'm debt free!" posts in a couple years huh? Oh I'm looking forward to that day!

:-)

Lorraine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 7:48pm
What a sweetie you are Michelle! I'm rooting for you. If your hubby watches (REALLY watches) his spending and you have some extra income, I think you'll be OK. Keep posting here. We're all a part of the BTDT crowd. We have a lot of success stories too. If you need help finding something around here, just let me know. :o)

Ms Joe

Ms Joe
CM Ms Joe Cool
Senior Community Moderator
moneylifecm@mail