On the edge..........new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
On the edge..........new here
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 1:26am
I went looking for a site like this tonight as I am so depressed. I want to visit my sister over the Holiday weekend but I can't as I have no money and don't want to put any more on my credit cards.

I am in heavy credit card debt (about 8k) with student loans and a car payment. I am single living on one paycheck. I am not and never have been late on any payment (except the car payment which goes to my parents--but carries more guilt than the rest combined as they never ask for the money) but I am so close to going over the edge to the point where I can't pay the credit cards. I may be laid off from my job in the next month, and been despartly trying to find a second part time job. I am reluctant to consolidate as it may hurt my credit rating and some of my rates are not too bad. So I feel that I am stuck barely paying the minimums and not getting anywhere. I have no savings and fear how I will pay if my car breaks down or some other unexpected expense arises.

I feel I cannot talk to any of my family as it is too embarassing. My parents raised nine kids and now own their home with no morgage by being smart and frugale and thus I feel like a failure.

Reading the other posts and tips on this board has opened my eyes as to why I have spent so foolisly. Thank you for listening to me as I feel better allready getting it out in the open, it has been my dark little (well not so little) secret.

JK in IA

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 05-24-2003 - 9:44am
Welcome to our board. I'm glad you have been reading through because we have all been there!! It really does help hanging out here. :)

Have you been tracking your spending to see where all your money is going. You might be surprised where there are some leaks (and there are usually *always* some leaks...whether they be big or small!). I know I had always tried to be pretty money aware but I *still* find where I have leaking pennies, etc... Sometimes I find the leak acceptable and other times it's like "hmm...we can change that one". The big one tends to be grocery shopping, have you tried store brands/generics? Do you have an Aldi's or Sav-A-Lot near you? If you need more help figuring out how to track we do have a Tracking Your Spending board that can help http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-mljournal

Also, since you said you may be getting laid off soon, I would really save your change, etc... and try to make any adjustments now that you can. If you get laid off, you should qualify for unemployment and that will help but won't be nearly what you were making normally (my DH got laid off end of January and it took us by complete surprise).

If you've got good rates on your CC now, I wouldn't consolidate per se but if you get a good 0% offer on balance transfers (I've been getting ones for like a year at 0%), it may be worth it to look into those (just make sure you read the fine print and the rate it will be going to is not more than what you are paying now).

Also for your student loan, I believe you can put those in forebarence if necessary, we have a Student Loan board you can post on for more information http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-mlschoolloan

We have a check-in every Monday for our ups & downs. Please continue to post here for emotional support as you work your way out of debt.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-26-2003 - 10:13am
Welcome oneasbfan! You sound so sad and tired in your post. I wish I could give you a big hug. We understand your dilemma. We have all been there. There is hope. You can work your way out of this slowly and steadily. I encourage you to get the book How to Get What You Want With the Money You Have by Carol Keefe. She helps you find a way to work your way back from debt while paying minimums and starting to save. She makes it seem fun and possible. Another book that might help is Debt Free by 30. That is written more for young people.

It is great that your parents were able to raise their kids and handle money well. Don't beat yourself up though because you are struggling. When they were your age the banking industry did not prey on young people like they do now. When we are struggling with debt we need compassion from people who understand. You will find tons of compassion, understanding and help here.

You have found a supportive group of people who have "been there and done that." Here at the DSG we offer lots of emotional support to one another as we struggle to get out of debt. Each person has found their own way of doing this and has much to share to help a newcomer.

We have a weekly check-in on Mondays. Try to be sure that you check-in then as well as posting often and becoming a part of our caring community. Please check out all the other Money boards as well. Many newbies find the Debt Questions and Answers Board to be an important source of information as they are starting out.

I urge you to visit http://www.quicken.com/planning/debt/ and use the Quicken Debt Reduction Planner to calculate how long it will take you to get out of debt with a reasonable payment plan. http://www.debtorsanonymous.org is a valuable website for understanding this affliction of compulsive debting. I have found http://www.flylady.net to be an important source of help for simplifying my life and dealing with the blues and a general sense of depression that I struggled with when deep in debt. And lastly I always ask people to check out http://www.cheapskatemonthly.com, Mary Hunt's website is a source of much helpful information and inspiration.

We are glad you joined our group! We welcome you with open arms and hope that you come back often.