Having a hard time (emotionally) lately
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|Sat, 05-24-2003 - 2:08pm|
I figure I had roughly $4500 in credit card debt at the beginning of this year. I now have $1560 in credit card debt, not including the roughly $200 I owe one card for clothes, most of which are going to be returned (thus eliminating most of that $200).
At the end of the month I am going to give my bf $500 cash and transfer $600 from his Visa to a low rate cc in my name. Then I won't owe him anything anymore. This is important to me right now. I have owed him this money for a long time and it has always been okay with him for me to make paying other things a priority, but I now want to pay him off. And besides, it would be a net gain since I would be taking that $600 off a higher rate card to a lower rate card. Then I will have @$2,100 in credit card debt.
I still have almost $11,000 in student loan debt, plus I owe my mum $10,000, and my car is on its last legs...
Anyway, I think that I have made a lot of progress. All of my credit card debt that I am referring to will be on one card. The other card with the $200 is for clothes that I keep ordering via internet...I have spent A LOT this year doing this, and I don't know what I have to show for it, because I don't have any new work clothes...I have gotten a lot of nice underwear and stuff, but I am wondering where the money went because I don't feel that I have much to show for it all...perhaps I will just cancel this card!!! Then I will have only two cc left, one with the big balance, and one will be clear, and this will be my emergency/charge only if I can afford it card (because I get points on this card that I use for free groceries).
So what's hard for me right now is that since the middle of January through the end of April, I had a job that paid really well. Nothing spectacular, and the job was really difficult for me to deal with (partly because it was so boring and was so going nowhere), but the paycheque allowed me to accompish so much and get so much closer to being in a better financial position. And now I am back to short duration temp jobs that pay 64% less than this last job did. I've only had two weeks work out of the last four, and at the lower pay, so money is not such a happy subject for me right now. It is just really hard for me to accept that my time is all of a sudden worth so much less. That is what I am having such a hard time dealing with right now. I don't have work for next week, but I know the temp agency is trying hard to find something for me (I got a call this morning--they never call on weekends, but she was trying to line something up for me for monday, but it fell through).
Even at the lower rate of pay I suspect that I am still generally making more than if I found my own permanent job independently of the temp agency, because so many companies pay absolutely rock bottom minimum wage for the type of work that I am getting through the agency. The other thing is that I don't really know what I want to do, and don't want to make a commitment to a permanent job if I don't think that I am going to stay there.
I just wanted to whine about how difficult it is emotionally to go back to making such a small amount of money for my time...I have so many qualifications but I know there isn't work in the well paying field that I am qualified for...It's just hard to accept that one menial job paid 64% more than all the other menial jobs...Does that make sense?
Anyway, I am doing okay for the most part because I know that I am really blessed to have enough money to pay my bills and eat well, and my bf got a great summer job, and I have family that loves me...but the emotional impact of going back to a lower rate of pay was more than I realized it would be. Thanks for listening if you got this far.