Torn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Torn
8
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 8:20am
I'm so confused and what is right on what to do. I currently work, at night, I'm usually getting about 5 hours of sleep during the week, seeing I have to get up at 6am and babysit for alittle boy and than take care of my two, ages 5 and 3. Than on the weekends, I'm hardly getting no sleep at all, last Saturday I got home at 6:45, which means I was up for 24 hours and than had stuff to do with my kids so didn't get to sleep till 2pm.....it's just so hard. However we have a lot of debt and just finally getting our bills paid on time, but it's still tough. But this job is making me sick, I feel sick to my stomach a lot, very light headed/headache kind of thing, so exhausted, and very short with my children. I think of quiting but that would mean $400+ a month that I wouldn't bring home, than I also think the little boy I watch I'm done watching him on the 25th of June, seeing his MOm is a teacher, so that is $400+ a month that I won't be getting either....so here I sit, totally depressed and just confused on what to do. I could use some upbeat advice, I'm so tired of feeling this way....hope this all made sense.....

Corinna

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 9:56am
Corinna - I can't imagine that your sanity and your children's childhood are worth $400/month. People can forego sleep for short periods of time during exceptional circumstances, but if it's a schedule that you're expecting yourself to keep, *and* your lack of sleep is making you short with your kids, is it worth it?

We all have debt, and we're all working to reduce it somehow or another. I'm just wondering if you've looked into ANY other options for yourself?

How you act with your children forms the sort of mother they perceive you to be.

So the first step of debt reduction is to stop charging. Have you chopped up/hidden your cc's? This step alone can have great effects on debt reduction over time. Of course you will reduce debt quicker by increasing income and putting lots of extra money toward debt, but maybe you're looking to reduce debt too quickly? It can't come with the pricetag of family - I just don't believe that's what we're meant to do.

Hopefully others will have some more solid advice for you - and hopefully you'll find some time to catch some zzzzz's.

All my best,

Danni

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 10:24am
Danni, thank you for your post, you are SO right. My cards have been cut up now for almost 2 years and we have been working on this for two years. WE are just barley making it by with my dh's income and have to have that extra money to get by. We have gotten rid of all the things we can, cable, cell phones....etc and it's just tough. We have dental bills, car insurance that is sky high (that won't change, that is a long story) so I'm not sure where my opitions are and I really can't work, normal job, daycare is too much, this job 'works' for us, dh is home by 7pm I leave for work, it works, really it does but NO sleep isn't working......I'm just so torn, so really hope I hear from others...maybe I will quit the job....he he!!

Corinna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 2:52pm
Oh and one last thing, I keep forgetting to tell you I love you name, even if it's the female version, my dh and dd are both names Danny.....too cool!!
Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 8:17pm
Well thank you - you're very kind :)

Danni

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 7:42am
Hi Corinna, FWIW here's what I would do... Can you hang in there on your night job until June 25th when the little boy leaves? If you can do that you could keep your night job for the summer to have that income, and spend the days with your kids.

Then in September instead of taking in one child for childcare, you could take in two, to get your $800/month income back, and then quit your night job. If you already have 3 in your house you might as well take in a couple more even. People are always looking for quality childcare. Many people tell me that if you can handle 3 kids at home, then another 1 or 2 aren't much more trouble, they amuse themselves with playing with each other.

You'll have to find out if there's a point at which you need to become a licensed day care giver, where I live I can have 5 preschool kids (including my own), or 8 schoolage kids before I need to be licensed.

Good luck, I know it's hard when you're tired. Between my oldest going to bed late and my youngest getting up with the birds I do many many 5 hour nights of sleep. I've often said to people that fatigue is my greatest enemy against keeping up the house and keeping on top of the debt. You definitely need a written plan too, with debt written down, budgets, repayment plans, a written planned end date of when it will be all gone. The Mary Hunt books are great for planning ideas, but if you don't get a plan in place you'll just muddle along and still be struggling 5 years down the road.

Hang in there!

Lorraine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 8:16am
Thank you Lorraine, you are SO right about a plan, we don't have a plan right now and it's just getting us no more, we are making more money but where is it going? I SO need help witht he plan, I have everything writing down but don't know where to begin, I'm SO awful at this, just so awful. Please someone help me!!!

Corinna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 9:13am
Hi Corinna,

I'm not quite sure what kind of help you want besides the advice you've already gotten. You asked please someone help me. Well, Danni's advice was to prioritize - is your health and your children's happiness worth $400? Or really, any amount? And Lorraine suggested gaining knowledge from Mary Hunt's book, and also suggested another (better) way to get the extra income you say you need, by doing daycare. So now it's time to get up off your franny and do it. Go to the library, and take out Mary Hunt's book. Read it. While you're reading it, evaluate with your DH whether or not you can quit the job that's killing you and making your children unhappy. You can clearly see that it might 'work' logistically, but it's not the optimal choice. Think! You are the one in your situation. You must decide what's right.

Choose wisely, and good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Lee Ann

Lee Ann

www.werenotafraid.com

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: moeell2
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 11:55am
Corinna - I hope we've been helpful! We certainly try. We're here to provide guidance and opinions (heaven knows we're full of those!). The hard work to do is yours and yours alone, but if you think you know what you want to do, lay it on us, and we'll let you know what we think - I'm sure we'll all have different opinions - in the end, the one that matters the most in your life is yours :)

HTH

Danni

All my best,
Danni