Losing Battle...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Losing Battle...
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 4:20pm
Today was the first day that I have read anything off of this board and I'm hoping that all of you can help me in some way. A lot of the posts I'm reading sound extremely similar to my situation.

I'm 23 years old, married, and we just bought our first house last August. DH and I have been together over 7 years and I've always handled his money for him from when we started dating and to this day. We don't have any money in savings. Both of us are compulsive spenders. We don't have any credit cards (thank god!). We've always lived from check to check. Borrowing from next week's check to make it this week, paying overdraft fees constantly with the bank. I can't count the months that bills have been late, and then the next month, there doesn't seem to be enough money to pay the double bill and it just snowballs from there. Recently, I had almost all of our monthly expenses caught up. Our loan payments are almost caught up, and things were feeling good again. The reason things were caught up again though is because DH has been working 55 hours at work. Those overtime hours are going to be coming to an end very soon. Both of our vehicles are 1996's, but mine hasn't been running for the last two months. So, we've been spending plenty of time and money on fixing my car, then something breaks on his truck...and then DH goes on his yearly fishing trip to Canada and last minute expenses add up. I'm sorry if this message is so disjointed, but that's what I feel like. I can't sleep, I'm constantly stressed and depressed because of money, and it just seems so hopeless!!! Now this week, I have to dip into our Christmas Club Savings Account to pay my sister back some money I owe her.

Every time we start to get ahead, we seem to get farther behind than we were before!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 5:27pm

Welcome! I highly recommend you and DH make a budget. No credit cards is so awesome. There are several boards, Tracking our spending, and such that can help. iVillage has some great articles too. That will help tame the compulsive spender inside you! Once I saw that DH and I were consistenly spend MORE than we brought in it was a wake up call big time. I am still not great with the budget, but at least we are spending a few dollars less per month than hundreds more like we were. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 5:31pm
I had a budget set up in the past, but it just doesn't seem to help at all. I know what we're spending, and I know it's too much, but what can we do when we have to drive somewhere or help someone out with this or that and have to fill up the gas tank an extra time than normal. It's not something that we can go without, but it's not planned for either. I just feel like everything is so out of my control!
Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 10:12pm
Hugs to you. I know this may seem *gasp* unthinkable but could your DH not take a trip one year until you get things straightened out?

Since you are almost caught up, you need to find out if you are spending more than you make and if so, there are only 2 choices...spend less or make more.

Do you have a change jar? That is usually good for a few dollars month dpending (to use to put just a bit of gas in your car, etc.. who says you have to fill up when you get gas? For a while I was limiting myself to $10/pay period for gas and it got me whatever it got me since the gas prices flucuate so much).

Hang in there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 9:37am
Hi Leslieswin,

I too am horrible with budgeting. I much prefer to call it a Spending Plan, like in Jerrold Mundis' book "How to get out of debt, stay out of debt, and live prosperously". There's a budget tips & ideas board here on ivillage that I sort of post on. The Compulsive Spenders board is very helpful too. I'm just now getting into the frugal living websites, and just yesterday bought ingredients to make my own laundry soap. It's kind of like a game, seeing where I can trim. I nickeled and dimed myself into debt, and now I'm trying to nickel and dime myself OUT of debt! :-)

Stick around these boards, you'll get plenty of great ideas, and hopefully your DH will be on board with you. My DF and I keep our money separate, but just from watching me educate myself about finances with the books I take out of the library, he was motivated to refinance his house, which could save him $1000/month! (He's rolling his existing debt into the refinance).

All we can do is try.

Lee Ann

Lee Ann