Spouse make you feel like the bad guy?
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 06-04-2003 - 11:23am|
Throughout our courtship I saved his butt a lot... including helping him get a car. Paying off his credit cards only to turn around and get a statement showing 10 cash advances to max it out again. It's so sad to now be getting denied for things when I am the responsible one. Ok, back to the point of me being the bad guy. My husband feels like I'm anal, or freak out about money. After Memorial Day he said "I wanted to take a short trip, but I didn't even suggest it because I didn't want to hear your mouth." We have no money, we're months behind in bills, we have almost $60,000 in debt. It's not my mouth, it's reality! I feel alone in it. I mean, he still wants to go out to eat all the time. He has a different approach to money I guess. But he wants a digital camera and he wants this and that. I feel like he's my child that I keep having to say no to. It really is draining to ALWAYS be the responsible head and have to say no. I don't like feeling like the bad guy.
I manage the money. He's tried to, and for lack of a better word... failed. But at least he acknowledges that. But he gives me the paychecks he gets and I pay bills out of one account with my name on it only. That way -- at least until we get our heads above water -- I can monitor where our money's going. But then he feels like he always has to ask me for money because he gives it all to me. I can understand how he feels always having to suck up his pride and ask for things, but I feel like all my money and paycheck goes to bills. Why shouldn't his. Am I wrong? He spends it if he has it.
It's gotten to the point where there's no faking it anymore. We're broke as a joke. And we both know it and don't really fight about it much anymore. But every day, I still have to say... no. We have no money. Remember.
Does anyone have any insight?
Thanks and sorry for the rambling.