I was sort of bad today

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
I was sort of bad today
10
Thu, 06-05-2003 - 10:42pm
I was sort of bad today, I bought a new mattress for my daughter. I only got the mattress, cause we already have the box springs. I set it up on 90 days same as cash. It was 329.00 tax and everything. So I will make 3 payments of a little over a hundred dollars each. I really didn't need to do that, but her mattress is HARD and she is 14 and has complained for a while about it. It was a cheapy that we got 17 yrs ago when we first married. I just have this guilt over getting something when I really didnt have the money to get it. I have really been hard on myself lately about trying to get by on the bare necessities. Just wanted to share that, I needed to get that off of my chest!

Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 6:58am
Well frankly Lucy, it is stuff like that which got you where you are today. I know this is supposed to be non-judgmental group, but sometimes a dose of reality is needed.

Girl, you are selling your dream house because you can't keep up with your debt! And now you buy something you don't need, on credit, you'll no more have that $329 in two months than you do now... and you've just added another half month to your debt payoff, probably more than that after interest, is that mattress really worth that?

There isn't a purchase in the world that people cannot somehow manage to justify, I see it on the compulsive spenders board all the time... "I bought such and such" , then comes a BIG "BUT" and the supposed justification for it. If the mattress was hurting your daughter, of course you needed to do something. But if you don't learn to evaluate the options and come up with cheaper solutions, you're doomed. If it were my situation I would have gotten DD one of those egg crate foam mattress toppers. Would have cost you $30 and worked just as well, and been a heckuva lot easier to pay for. Or if you really felt that wasn't an option, you could have set up a fund, to buy her a mattress in 6 months or whatever with cash, if she's lasted 14 years she'd last another 6 months.

Getting deeper in debt isn't going to solve anything. Neither is foolishly spending cash which now can't go on a credit payment.

Will you please go buy Mary Hunt's Debt Proof Living book. TODAY. That is one purchase that nobody here would fault you on one bit, it will teach you how to get out of this mess, and teach you how to deal with your feelings of deprivation that are going to keep you trapped in this nasty spiral of debting to feel better.

Everyone here wants to help each other and be supportive, but we need to help ourselves first and come to grips with reality. I really want you to get that book, please. You need to set up a plan to follow. Planning is the key.

Lorraine

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 9:09am
I'm sorry to have to say, I agree with the previous post. Know what? I slept on the same piece of junk mattress for my first 18 years, I understood that we just could not afford a new one. Besides which, that's quite a lot to spend on one mattress - I bought a nice comfy full-size mattress a couple years ago for $80. Seeing as you just got it yesterday, I'd suggest you take it back and this this purchase through more carefully. Does your DD know your financial situation? If so then she should understand that you do not have the money for this purchase - and if not, think about why not? What's more important, bending to a 14-yr-old desires, or good old fashioned honesty?

You say you have been hard on yourself about limiting your cash flow, and you have guilt over getting this mattress when you cannot afford it. Didn't it feel great in the beginning, to have this supposed freedom of instant gratification on credit - and now doesn't it feel awful when you know better and you do it anyway? Listen to your guilt and correct the situation today. The guilt will -poof- disappear and you'll feel better. Now if you're spending to relieve frustration over keeping yourself on such a tight spending plan and have the urge to splurge - why not spend 3 bucks instead of 300 on a nice nail polish or something for yourself?

If you were going to pay 100/month anyway, take that money and set it aside and buy the mattress outright in 3 months. As the previous post said, if she's lived with it for 14 years, a few more months will make no difference.

I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but we're just telling you what you already know.

~Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 9:41am
What happens if you can't pay off the mattress in the 3 months?? I ask because many of these payment options come with hefty % tacked on if you don't pay off the purchase. I'm dealing with that right now. I have had several furniture bills like that and the one was going to add over $1000 interest if I didn't pay it off by this month. I was not going to able to pay it off and ended up having to open another 0% cc. I hated to do that, but it was worth it not to have to pay that added $$$.

It wouldn't be such a big deal, but I have another furniture bill that is due in Jan. See where I am going to here. All those offers to buy now and pay leter may sound great but someday the pay later will catch up to you.

I understand how you feel about wanting to buy things for your child, I have done the same thing, but with the help of this baord and everyone on it, I am thinking longer and harder about purchases. Now don't get me wrong, I will still make purcahses, but I seriously think them through and how I will pay for them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 10:19am
When I first moved into DF's house this past March, I couldn't stand his mattress. Not only did it have a valley in the middle, it had 'other girl' germs on it. So I spent my whole savings, $1700, and bought a select-comfort mattress for us. He likes to sleep on a marshmallow, and I like to sleep on a rock, so now we're both happy, and it's 'our' bed. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Lee Ann

www.werenotafraid.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 10:40am
I also have a select mattress, aren't they the greatest! I had always had waterbeds and ours had sprung a non-repairable leak so we were desperate for a new bed.

I agree that select mattresses are expensive, oh but the sleep you get with one of them!!!

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 10:59am
Our mattress is terrible too. Our puppy has shredded it and the top layer

is completely gone. He's older now and I know we could buy a new one.

I keep promising myself that this month will be the month

but I can't quite do it. We have a queen and I know I've seen

ads in the paper for new mattresses for $100-150 or so. That's probably

what we'll do. I'm sure they're not as nice as an expensive mattress but

let's get real. I'm in debt.

I say keep the mattress but resolve to pay it off before the three months is up.

Sell things on Ebay, even get a second job. But make it your priority to pay it

off! The interest is what will kill you. Will you pay back interest on the three months

too? Make it your goal to pay it off before that happens!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 11:19am
You could also ask your DD to help pay for it, by babysitting, or mowing lawns, or some other way kids can earn money. Maybe tutoring students in summer school, helping out at a vegetable stand, or something like that.

Lee Ann

www.werenotafraid.com

Avatar for zaboz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 12:05pm
Those are great ideas! I hate to sound like Ebay queen today but you

could also go through her closet with her and list some of the clothes she doesn't

wear anymore. Does she have sporting equipment that she doesn't use?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 1:42pm
Lucy, I would have to agree with Birdiecheeks and the next poster (sorry can't remember who it was). If you can take the mattress back - get something cheaper. When I was looking for a mates bed for my son I scoured the classifeds and the "Bargain Finder" (it is a weekly paper for second hand stuff - you may have something like that where you live). Anyway I saw a lot of ads for New second had mattresses (never used) or only used for 3 months etc. Could you do something like that? Save the money first and than go shopping? If you don't have the money why are you spending 300.00 plus on *just* a mattress? We bought a brand new one for 98.00. Top quality? No, but it does the job.

I also think it is a wonderful idea to get your daughter involved in the buying. Set up a savings plan with her and decide how much you will spend and start saving. If she wants it sooner she can also contribute to the fund. Keep track and post it on the fridge. You'll both be learning something. Once you pay cash up front you will know how much better that feels than buy now pay later syndrome.

Good Luck

Sandra

Avatar for joieprice
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 1:52pm
Check Costco if you have one near you. We bought our queen at Costco, I think its a Seely and I love that thing. I think it was about $400 when we bought it about 6 years ago and their prices really haven't changed that much.

Joie

Joie

"We are what we think.  All that we are arises with our thoughts.  With our thoughts we make the world."