So I think I made a mistake

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
So I think I made a mistake
5
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 10:40am
Okay I need some more advice here. My bills had been pliing up and last weekend H and I set out to make a plan and we did that. A very workable plan I thought. Well there were still some bills that needed to be paid and because we didn't talk I paid these bills and well he didn't think they needed to be paid. I will be honest and say they were cell phone bills but considering the schedules we keep I think that they do need to be paid. My kids need to be able to get ahold of us. So any advice?? Im tired of H telling me I do it wrong but I know that he doesn't have the ability to do it correctly. LOL

Thanks for listening to my venting!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 3:22pm
I agree that they needed to be paid. Otherwise they would be shut off. So the money was there pay it. I started with a spending plan in March. DH and I failed miserably in March, terribly in April, but by May we had things on track. So these things take time! hang in there and try and talk about your plan with DH more frequently.

Rebecca

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 10:44pm
Excuse me for butting in with by blunt opinions, but when did cel phones become a necessity? Did I miss something in the changes of society lately? If schedules are a problem and the kids needing to reach you, then pagers would be a much cheaper alternative, I think. Heck, what did kids do to reach their parents before there were pagers, cel phones and answering machines?

Actually, the problem lies not in the fact that the cel phone bills existed, but in the lack of communication when you came across these bills, just after you and DH had sat down together, communicated and agreed on a plan. If I were in the same situation, I would have picked up the phone and called him about it, or delayed the decision until I could reach him and discuss it.

In a not very similar situation, my fiance became irritated with me today when I called him from the Home Depot. We had a plan to buy a remnant of lineolum for the dining room floor, and only $90 left in my checking account. None of the remants available were big enough, so I needed to buy new off the roll - about $175. I knew the money was available in savings, but this was not a part of our plan. So I called him, rudely interrupted his plumbing work, and asked what to do. Communication is the key to our budget and plan to get out of debt, even when it's irritating and inconvenient. He wasn't irritated for long, and we bought new linoleum anyway - but at least I knew we were both on the same page and I hadn't screwed up our carefully made plans.

So yeah, I think you made a mistake, too - but only a small one and one you can easily recover from. Bless you for having the guts to own up to it. Just remember to communicate next time!

:)

Best of luck to you!

Msfit

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 10:52am
Okay..these cells phones became necessary when my husband began to travel for work. I wasn't able to pick up the phone and call him because he spends most of his time in a semi or in hospitals doing what his job requires him to do. We tried pagers and though we had several different plans and pagers they weren't reliable. So many times I paged him and he never got the page. With the cell phone he at the very least cna check the voicemail that coms with it. Why do I need a cell phone? Because I spend most of my time alone. When Im at school..again the kids need to get ahold of me. My mother is terminally ill...another reason I need to be able to actually get a call when Im not home.

Everyone has their reasons for having and paying for what they have. Someone here was talking about 60 haircuts..I would never spend that much but that doesnt mean they don't have a valid reason for doing so. Another poster spent a huge amount of money on shoes..again something I wouldn't do but she had her reasons and they made sense. You talk about your flooring. Well I could argue the point that if you budgeted 90 dollars and than spent much more you blew your budget however; you had the ability to re-work the plan you had and nothing suffered.

The problem I had was not about the cell phones it was about paying a bill that H thought was less important. The cell phones don't make or break or budget. Its the trips to McDonalds or the trips to KMart for paper towel and than impulse shopping. I realize this and so does H. That is why we worked out a plan.

Thank you all for your advice and comments though. Hearing them and hearing your take on them is always helpful

Hugs

SweetPea

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 1:59pm
Once again I agree with everyone! We shouldn't jusge someone because they choose to have cell phones when they could easily save that money. Or my haircuts when I could easily go to Fantastic Sam's. (Although I have to add that I dye my hair at home spending $7 for a bottle instead ot $50 for highlights like I used to!!) BUT some people show up on this board and talk about having their power turned off or filing bankruptcy but still justifying an expense like shoes or whatever. Those posts are the most frustrating to me! I know that my haircut adds $20 a month that I could snowflake, but I have made a clear CHOICE about it knowing that it will make my repayment plan a couple months longer! So that is my $.02.

Rebecca J.

p.s. DH and I have cell phones, but not a home phone, so I think it equals out, free long distnace is a beautiful thing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Mon, 06-09-2003 - 12:46am
Oops - after reading the thread on Accountability and your response to my post above, I am ashamed of myself in my original post to you. I apologize for being judgmental. I do realize that we each have different needs, and I am in no position to determine whether cel phones are a necessity for anyone but myself. If you feel they are a necessity, then they are. Sounds like you and DH are just going through the adjustment period of a new financial plan, as all of us have to do. I'm sure it will work out for you.

I am reminded that, in your original post, you did not attempt to justify the cel phones, but my response to you put you in a position to do exactly that. My mistake. But really, the basis of my post wasn't about the cel phones. It was about communication, in reference to how you and your DH had different opinions about what bills were important and which ones were not.

In reworking our plan, my fiance and I always go through the list of where can we cut back on expenses. Cable TV? maybe. Internet service? not on your life. Groceries? I will find a way. Cigarettes? this is a no-brainer - but still we both smoke. Telephone? got a plan working to cut down that expense already (cel phones instead of house phone ;) ;) ;) But always there is an adjustment period, and times when we disagree on which bills are important. Constant communication is the key to making our plan work.

Wish you the best... thanks for giving me a wake-up call.

Msfit

                  &nbs