Losing my steam (long)
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|Tue, 07-01-2003 - 8:18pm|
At the beginning of the year I was so gung ho. I tracked all of my spending, paid all of my bills, started saving and setting aside for irregular expenses, giving money to church. Everything in the Mary Hunt plan. I was reading 1-2 financial books each month and knew I could win this battle. Fast forward 6 months the savings and money for irregular expenses is gone (not on frivilous expenses but gone nonetheless), I haven't tracked expenses, have been spending way too much, have not given to church. I am so unhappy with myself. I just got paid today for the month and am broke again. I swear I'm just a pass through of money.
On the bright side, I haven't charged a penny and have paid off about $3500. Although I'm happy with that, I have so far to go. I have wanted to charge so many times. The only thing that's prevented me is knowing what I've paid off and how long it would take to pay again if I run up balances. It's amazing what tricks the mind will play on you. I went to Staples (office supply store) a few weeks ago to buy ink for my printer (a necessary expense since I work from home sometimes and was writing a report). I'm in the store and then start looking at printers. I almost convinced myself that it made more sense to buy a 3 in 1 printer, scanner, fax than to just buy the darn ink. No wonder I'm in debt. At least now I can recognize my destructive patterns before I give into them.
I have no idea what the point of this post is. I just need to get this off my chest. I did get a kick in the pants last week though. I got my first credit card 15 years ago about 2 seconds after I started college. The card is with citibank. In that 15 years I have never been late or gone over the limit. In fact, I'm the kind of person credit card companies love (unfortunately). I get a notice last week that they are raising my rate to 19.99 fixed from 11.24 variable. This turns out to be a 77% increase. The informed debtor that I am, of course I was furious as I read the fine print. Fortunately, I can decline the change and pay off the balance under my current terms (which should include a slight decline in interest because of the recent lowering of interest rates). My account will be closed at the end of January. Oh well. I was a bit sad thinking that I would lose my first credit card. Talk about twisted thinking.
I guess I've rambled enough. I just need prayers and positive thoughts to keep me from royally messing up the little bit of progress I've made. Thanks if you read this far.