Party Invitations - Budget Busters

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Party Invitations - Budget Busters
15
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:24pm
Have you ever been frustrated by the number of invitations you get, and ergo, the number of gifts you have to give?! For some reason or other, our May-July calendar is just loaded w/ invitations to Grad, B-day, House-warming, Going Away parties. There's not one weekend where we don't have some party to go to. In the coming few weeks, I've got five gifts to buy. I just came back from a trip to Marshall's where I spent $20 on one gift. Not bad for one gift, but times 5?! In addition to gifts, when we take the b-day celebrant out, we have to pitch in for their meal + drinks. It just all adds up. Ok, enough whining. I suppose I should be glad that there are people who like having me around ;-> LOL

Thanks for letting me vent!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 6:14pm

Oh I know how you feel!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 6:44pm
I think what I struggle with is - how much is enough for a gift? I know there's no hard or fast rule on this and of course it depends on the ocassion, but how low can you go w/o looking cheap? What I've started doing is making gift baskets w/ things I've collected over time. For example, I had bought these body sprays from Victoria's Secret and wrapped them in clear paper and put them in a straw bag that I had never used, but was lying around collecting dust. Even my BF thought it looked alot more expensive than it really was.

Bottom-line: I found that I need to be more creative when trying to save money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 7:23pm
For things like Going-Away and Housewarming parties, I like to bring a bottle of wine (about $7-10) with a ribbon tied around it. Simple, elegant and not a budget buster.

I can understand what you mean about grad and b-day parties. It seems like my girls are always getting invites. One time, I hit on a really good after-Christmas clearance sale at Target and stock-piled some great gifts. I haven't done it since, but it should be something that I do more often. The occasion I have the toughest time with is weddings. How much is respectable? How low is cheap? I gave DH's cousin a $25 gift certificate and DH almost died because he thought that wasn't enough. However, he comes from a family that will hock themselves to the grave to keep up appearances.

Windy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 7:35pm

Oh, yes!

~Mrs. Kringle

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 7:40pm
You are right about weddings.

~Mrs. Kringle

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 9:23pm
Yes, I can easily see wedding gifts costing $100+. I've always heard that guests should guestimate how much the bride & groom spent on each guest and cover that cost - at the least. BUT, what if the bride & groom spent $100pp, then one would give $200 (if there were two of you)?! This is crrazzzy... it's not the guests' fault that the bride & groom chose to be lavish, right?! With this in mind, I've struggled with weddings, too. I've had friends who've chosen to go the route of $100 per-person-receptions. I quickly learned my lesson. What I try to do, now, is get to the wedding registry early so that I have my pick of gifts. This way I'm not stuck buying the most expensive thing on the registry.

On a more general note, what I've been doing lately, has been to gather all the items that I haven't used before and mentally go thru them with the idea of gifting them to someone else eventually. For example, I have several iron baskets, candles, soaps, body sprays, perfume, lotions, purses that I have never used and all of which still have tags (yes, I am a compulsive shopper!!!). I put a couple of the items together, wrap it nicely with clear basket wrapper, and place them in a gift basket. This way, it looks like something I got from Bath & Body Works or Victoria's Secret or Williams Sonoma, etc. I get ideas for baskets from window-shopping. It's amazing how expensive something inexpensive can look with the right "dressing."

Also, try the .99 Cent Store. They've got the best prices on gift bags (that are normally $2.99 & up @ Target or Walgreens), wrapping paper, tissue paper, ribbons, cards, potpourri,etc. You can use these things as "gift stuffers." The best thing about it is that all that gift stuff @ the .99 Cent Store looks just as good as those at WalMart or Target, just 50% cheaper.

Hope this helps ;)

~Claire


Edited 6/9/2004 10:55 pm ET ET by imbetteroffnow

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 7:54am
Oh boy o boy...do I ever know what you are talking about. This month for us has been bombarded with invites. AND they happen to be all but one, being close family & friends...so I feel I need to kick in a little more.

The wedding thing drives me nuts too re: the feeling you need to at least give them the amount you think they paid for the dinners. Now HOW are you supposed to do that? And if one person picks lobster tails and another person happens to searve BBQ....should the first person get more money because of it? Hmmmm. ~ For us...I am still going to stick with $100.00 for my hubbys cousin (see her once a year) thats getting married this month and for my friend (who is very close) well, I am planning on $150.00

That seems like plenty to me and if for some reason one or both think I am cheap....well I guess that will be their problem (I don't think they will though...but you never know with some people) : )

Avatar for tmccray
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 9:30am
I don't know how well this is going to go over, but....

I NEVER spend that much on presents for parties like graduations, showers, weddings, going away parties.... I just can't, and there are other things I would rather spend money on than presents for other people! Maybe I'm one of those "stingy" people, but I don't care!

Here's some ideas of gifts I've given:

Graduations: laundry basket filled with some supplies they'll need when they go to college. Not pens/pencils, but maybe some laundry detergent, fun slippers, coffee/tea samples, batteries, ...stuff like that.

Weddings: this past weekend, I went to a wedding, and I bought a really beautiful crystal-looking vase for $11 at Target!!!! It looks much more expensive than it really is, and it goes with the couple's decor. I NEVER EVER get gifts off the registry. Why? I kind of think it's tacky. I get things that I want to get for the couple. Most of the time, they've been living together or on their own anyway, and they don't REALLY need anymore towels or pots/pans!

Baby showers: these can get soooooo expensive!!!!!! What I usually do is just buy some little onesies or some receiving blankets! Those wonderful outfits that people always buy...how often do they really get worn by the baby????? I'd rather spend some money on some basics that the new parents will actually use!!!! If they have older children, I'll also include a little "gift certificate" for babysitting. If they want to use their night to just spend time together, I'll take their kids!

Birthdays/Going Away parties: PICTURES!!!!!!!! For going away parties, do they really want more presents that they are going to have to PACK???? NO!!!! I'll get some pictures and decorate some really really cheap frames, or I'll just frame one really nice picture. Same for birthdays! Anymore, all my friends are poor too, so going to the bar or out to eat for some celebration doesn't happen anymore! We just get together at a house, and we all get to spend time together, instead of spending money together!

Great present ideas:

Candles

Broom/dustpan/mop/cleaning supplies

Picture frames

PLANTS!!!!!!

Previously viewed DVD's

TOYS!!! I get some of my adult friends a magic 8 ball, or some pens that play games.

Gift certificates - do you have a friend who complains that she never has time to clean her house? Give her a gift certificate that says you'll come over and scrub her bathroom until it shines! DON'T spend money on gift certificates where they'll just buy more STUFF, but give them gift certificates for services you can perform, and then you're giving them the gift of TIME!

Books

Car wash coupons

Oil change coupons

That's about all I've got! Good luck!!!

Tracie

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:17am
I agree that the idea of "buying back" your seat at the reception is completely ridiculous. If I have thrifty friends who have a humble kind of wedding, why should they receive less than friends who have a lot of money to blow? I have a colleague who's getting married soon and his wife registered for $6000 worth of CHINA - about $300 for each place setting! And I'm sure the wedding will cost a boatload of money per plate, so technically I could give them more than one place setting, but *they're* not paying for it, the bride's father is - and in any case, why should I give very well-off people MORE money to be well-off with? It's mind-boggling to me.

Vent over. I keep it simple, and I rarely give more than one gift for an occasion. Now that I'm 41, my years of being inundated with wedding and baby shower invitations are over, but my rule was always to strenuously avoid having to give a shower *and* a wedding gift, unless they are very dear friends. I simply can't afford it. And I try to avoid giving money as well. I've had a lot of success in looking at the gift registry, finding the most useful gift possible in the $75-125 range, and buying that. I steer clear of china and go for things like knife sets or cookware - things they'll use right off the bat. If there is no registry, I get some decorative serving piece in the $50-75 range. It's what I can afford and frankly I feel that is very reasonable!

As for housewarming and graduation parties, unless they are close friends, I decline. I have a MILLION other things to do on the weekend besides go to rather boring parties!

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:49am
Tracie,

I am so glad that there is someone out there who thinks like I do! Like I said, my DH thought I was being too cheap with the $25 gift certificate, but I really felt that the situation did not warrant any more. We rarely see this cousin and I don't play the same game as the rest of his family.

Thanks for letting me know that it's ok to stay within a budget and not feel guilty!

Windy

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