Angry at myself (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Angry at myself (long)
14
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 3:30pm
I posted some of this story below in the Monday Check-in thread.

One of my best friends is getting married on August 14th. My BF and I are flying 2/3rds of the way across the country for this, and are making a holiday out of it at the same time. We are leaving on August 7th. When I found out about the wedding, I of course started wondering what I could get her as a gift. She's one of my best friends and wanted to get her something special, but couldn't spend a lot of money. In October, I bought a wedding-themed cross-stich kit complete with cloth, needle, thread, etc for $25, figuring I had nine months to complete it, and that all the time and effort I put into it would be worth far more than the $25 I spent on it. Later, people kept telling me it would cost $200 to have this thing framed! I refused to believe that, and tried putting it out of my head, since by that time I was getting closer to being finished. I kept telling myself I would shop around and see who could give me the best deal. Part of me just refused to believe it would cost me that much.

Well, classic me, I kept putting off the "shopping around", and finally finished it last Wednesday, still having no clue what it would cost me to frame it. On Thursday, I called one place for an estimate, and they told me the average cost to frame a needlework piece was $225!!! I almost had a heart attack. Everyone was right. The panic started, but I calmly told myself I would call some more places and take it to whoever gave me the best deal. The next day, it dawned on me that I only had 2 weeks left - just how LONG does it take to get this done anyway??? A new sense of panic took over, and I called that first store back and they said "about 2 weeks". Crap, crap, crap!!!

No time for shopping around now - I hopped in my car and went straight over. They hooked me up with a frame, mats, fancy uv-protection glass, the works. The thing that bugged me was that the salesperson kept showing me all these different options, but without telling me prices. I kept having to say - "what does this one cost? What about that one? And this one???" She wasn't volunteering anything. She kept pushing the bigger frame (thus more expensive), the double matting (thus double price), the UV glass as opposed to regular non-glare, without giving me cost options. It was the most frustrating experience of my life - buying a car must be easier than this was! I kept telling her I wanted to keep it simple, since the design itself was very intricate (a polite way of saying I wanted it CHEAP). When I DID ask for pricing, she would look through all kinds of books and would tell me "that one is about $20 difference from that one" and I would have to say "$20 MORE or LESS than that one???? And what does that one cost ANYWAY?????"

She would only give me a final estimate when everything was decided an hour later. Fortunately the list was itemized so I was able to see where I could start cutting costs. I got rid of the double mat (cut $20) in favour of the single, and then tried to cut the UV glass in favour of regular non-glare when I saw that the freakin UV glass was $50 - but another salesperson happened to overhear and said "we highly recommend UV glass for needlework - it will fade if it is not protected". "FINE" I said through a gritted-toothed smile.

$170 later, I felt so angry at myself that I'd left this to the last minute. I know I could have gotten a better deal somewhere if I'd only looked. And is UV glass REALLY necessary, or were they just pushing it for the extra sale? I mean, how much would it really fade, and how long would that realistically take? Good grief. I felt so dumb.

This is going to be another one of those expensive lessons (you'd think I'd be the smartest person on earth by now, after all the money I've spent on "lessons"). The moral of the story - give yourself some time and spend the effort looking into ANY purchase that you aren't sure about, or aren't familiar with. Don't leave it to the last possible second like me!!!


Edited 7/27/2004 1:21 pm ET ET by unicorn21



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Avatar for akirez
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:43pm
Just an afterthought on this whole issue. It may be worth it for you to write a letter to the store's manager. If you're anything like me, I hate confrontation. But, if you write a letter, it's easier to get all of your thoughts out without getting upset. Explain how you like to shop at their store, but after this experience, you're less inclined to do so. Explain also how you really felt pressured by your experience there and how you tried to decline the UV glass, etc., but how the salespeople wouldn't let you. Also mention how you wanted to call and cancel, but didn't realize until too late that you would have to forfeit your deposit, etc. Or, even better yet, pretend you didn't see that on the receipt--some stores will appreciate your business and do what they can to keep you happy. By all means, be diplomatic and that will accomplish more than you would expect. It's never too late to try to fix something like this!

Akirez

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 12:45pm
Hi - I am a longtime lurker and I just had to reply.

I know how much it stinks that you feel (and probably were) ripped off to some degree on the framing. I can also sympathize about how over budget you ended up going for your friend's wedding gift. I just thought I would give you another perspective.

As a wedding gift 11 years ago, I received two beautifully framed counted cross stitch pieces from one of my very dearest friends. To this day they are still in my home and everytime I walk by them and glance up, I smile as I think about my dear friend who spent countless hours stitching them for me. I can tell she probably spent a great deal of money for the matting and framing as well.

These gifts have outlasted the toaster oven, towels, sheets and many other useful, household items which I received as wedding gifts.

So, while the whole gift may not have turned out exactly how you planned, I believe you have given your friend a cherished gift that you can be proud of.

Please do not beat yourself up any longer. Go and enjoy yourself!

Becky

Avatar for skinny42
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:35pm
Hey there,

I have been doing all my own framing for years now. I order from this great place in Ohio. Check out their website and tell me what you think:

www.americanframe.com

Best wishes,

Nini

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:38pm
Thank you Becky. That really does make me feel better. :)

I'm sure that once I see it framed for the first time next week when I pick it up, it will look great. And I'm sure my friend will appreciate this more than a toaster or electric kettle too! I hope she will treasure it as much as you treasure yours.



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