*sigh* it's gotta get better

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
*sigh* it's gotta get better
3
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 6:59pm
Well, I sat down last night to enter DH's Debit card reciepts in the checkbook. I must say there were quite a few because it was 16 days worth. So I asked him to play a guessing game. How much had he spent?? Ususally he is in the "ball park" not this time. His guess was $150, mine was $196 well.... After numerous calculations it was $384.57 plus he was "missing" a reciept for $60 so it was actually $444.57 IN TWO WEEKS...(I did recheck several times to make sure I didn't slip too many digits in there)

I was so proud that I didn't blow my top like I used to. I said "Oh well, we were both WAAAYYY off on our guesses. Can I have a cigarette?" (I don't smoke-LOL) He apologized because he "didn't realize" it was that much. And I appreciate he says he is sorry BUT his actions aren't changing. I feel like a broken record saying "We have no money. Just because the transaction is "approved" doesn't mean it's there to spend" So needless to say he spent in two week what was suppose to be his truck payment. Now I am left wondering "Where do I get $500" What can I possibly do (besides take the card away) to enlighten him that we have a LACK of FUNDS????

Thanks for letting me vent. Now I need to figure out how to come up with the $$$$. Hopefully my tummy ache will go away.

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 9:10pm
Hi Susan!

Here are a couple of suggestions that have really worked for me:

1. I balance the checkbook every single day. My husband gives me his receipts every day, and I enter them into the checkbook. This one daily habit has saved me a lot of money and trouble over the past couple of years.

2. We operate on a daily budget. This keeps us from spending money that needs to go to something else. If you have "spending money" of $500 per month (for example), it can be way too easy to spend that much before the month is finished! That same amount of money can be broken down into a weekly budget of $125, or a daily budget of $16.

The daily budget seems very stringent, but it can really keep you on your toes, especially if you are paying off credit card bills or saving for the future! Best of luck to you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 12:04pm
Susan,

I know that feeling of coming up short and then the stress of juggling everything to make it work. On the $444 dollars spent by your DH did you do a detailed analysis of every dollar spent. You need to know where he's spending. Could it be that some of this spending needs to be included in the budget. It's simple to put a budget on paper and make everything balance but if the budget does not reflect your true spending then it won't help. If you budget $100 dollars for gas but really need $200 then you'll certainly be out of balance. If your DH is a smoker then the cigs have to be in the budget.

Maybe this is the time to go to a cash spending plan. Spending with checks, credit, or debit doesn't seem as real as pulling cash from your spending plan envelopes to pay for what you need. Also, when the envelope is empty the spending is finished.

My DH and I have allowance money. We use it for gas and blow money. I get my money in a lump sum every two weeks. My DH has to get his lump sum divided up and paid to him every week. If he gets two weeks of money he spends the total in one week. He asked me to pay him weekly so he doesn't run out of money.

Don't give up. It will all work out.

Julie

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 7:54pm
Thanks for the ideas. We don't per say have a budget so that is an idea we can try. DH did mentioned maybe he would do better on a cash basis but he wasn't willing to hand over his debt card. I *know* he will go through the cash and then *still* use the debit card and we'll be where we are right now. He is a smoker so that's a big portion of what he is spending. I used to buy cartons for him because it's cheaper but I am so busy working 2 jobs that I haven't been shopping in a couple of weeks. I barely have time to put gas in my vehicle. When I have asked him to buy in bulk he has an excuse that he doesn't have time or can't remember. P-LU-EEZZ?? His job is in town and he has all of the conveniences of going to the grocery store and getting things cheaper. He chooses not to. I guess I am just frustrated because even though I work two jobs I don't eat out or spend as much money as him so I am feeling like "what's the point of me working so hard if he's just going to blow it all". I've talked with him several times and he will curb his spending for about 2 days then falls back into old habits. We'll see how things go the next couple of weeks.

Susan

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