We need prayers, please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2004
We need prayers, please.
1
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 8:51pm
Hi all...

I don't know where else to go with this as my husband has made up his mind and there is no sense talking some real sense into him. At least I know he won't hear it coming from me, maybe I can get someone else to talk to him about it. Wishful thinking on my part I know.

We are a high five-figure income family. My husband works his butt off and is very unhappy with his job, has been for some time now. We have two children, who he really misses because he spends so much time at his job, in town and out of town. The problem is his job. He works 6 days a week, he works 16 hour days the majority of the time and is out of town a week to two weeks at a time. He wants to quit, if he could he would do it right now. The rumor is that they are going to be asking him to move, he doesn't want to do it and vows that if he is asked he will just let them fire him...that is the type of company this is. If you don't do what they want, you are basically fired. He has given me one year to become debt free....basically save save save to pay the debt...which is near 15,000. I think I won't have a problem (which is me talking in my imaginary world) as long as I bite the bullet and not spend anything at all and just pay the debt with any extra money that comes in. Our mortgage is over $1100.00 a month, we also have a vehicle payment that is $650 a month which we should pay off in a year. Now the new job....we will make a whopping $30,000 a year (take home). I cannot imagine living off of $30,000 a year, in our current situation. I have already figured out our bills...I mean utilities, mortgage, insurance, the high gas prices...I have omitted anything that we might not need....cable, internet, cell phones (at least one of them) ballet, the newspaper. I am still coming up with close to $2800 a month, not including food, emergency medical...yada yada yada! That still amounts to over 32,000 a year. I need to cut 2,000 more out of the budget, assuming...and we all know how that is spelled...that I get us out of c.c. debt. I have even told him that if we have to move out of our house we can rent it out....move into my aunt's house who recently passed away, and save another $1100 a month. He refuses to hear that, absolutely refuses to hear me speak of moving out of OUR house. What else can I do? He also tells me that I will not work anymore than I am currently working, which is part time 5 days a week, income which he has been making me put into untouchable yearly CD's. Please help. Any ideas of what else I can do to get us out of this mess, so I am not totally stressed out come quitting time?

Thanks a million!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:27am
Hugs to you!!! Now take a deep breath. This has helped me a number of times when I was in crisis mode.

When I read your post it reminded me of where my situation 3 years ago. My DH was working 16 hour days, 6 days a week. He swore that when our DD was born, he wouldn't do this any more. Well after standing up for himself, he was let go. I was out on maternity leave and we lost half our income.

The first thing we did was to sell everything that we didn't need. And it turned out to be a lot. We sold on ebay and at yard sales and once we had a little cash coming in, it was easier to look for solutions. My DH wanted to be involved with our DD, so we had to do something that gave him that flexibility (ie 16 hour days not required). I went back to work. (There was never a question of going back to work. I earned more, had benefits, and had greater job stability than DH did.) Then DH decided to open his own home based business. We decided to give it a try. He could stay with our daughter and work when I got home.

We sold our house, bought a less expensive one and paid off a good portion of our debts with the profit on our old house. Then I received a promotion and now I make almost twice as much as I did 3 years ago. His business is doing well. Most importantly, when DH worked long hours, he was a miserable person, which made me miserable.

Because of losing DH's job, we were forced to confront the reality of our financial situation and are better off now. But that initial panic ... it feels like you can't breathe.

What helped us pull through was going over the finances together. Coming up with plans, reworking them, etc. Th decision to sell our house surprised us both. We loved that house, but after working the numbers, we realized that we couldn't afford it. And our security of knowning yuo can make it meant more than the house.

If your DH won't consider selling your house, ask him for help in trimming the budget and defining what is acceptable cmpromise and what isn't.

One final thing -- can you rent you Aunt's house while you live in yours?

I hope this helps.

Sandra