we are sinking fast!
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| Sat, 09-18-2004 - 2:11pm |
$17,000 MC
$5,000 Visa
$36,000 home equity loan (we did a 80,10,10 loan to avoid PMI)
$1,000 med bills
$800 Home Depot (no interest until April 2005)
$300 on a same as cash card that will be paid off in November or December when it expires
$5,000 on new windows we put in last year
plus a huge mortgage
I am so embarrassed to even write down how much we owe. Good Lord - that's $65,000 dollars not including our mortgage!!!!!!! We just found out today that our mortgage payment is increasing $120 per month b/c our escrow account was short last year. My car lease is over in March and I will need a new car but I have no idea how we'll come up with the downpayment.
I am sick about this. I worry constantly. We have a good income when we are both working. Before all these med bills and daycare costs, we could afford our lifestyle and knew we had debt but could make payments and make a dent in it. Now daycare eats up $1200 a month that we used to pay towards debt and we have med bills from my delivery.
Any advice on how to survive? I don't want to file bankruptcy b/c we put ourselves in this situation and I need to get us out. I should get a bonus/severance package next month b/c my job is being eliminated and this was incentive for me to return to work after the baby was born. I am going to put that towards these medical bills and hopefully a credit card or two. I also want to save a bit for an emergency.
Thanks for listening. It was a huge step for me to admit to anyone other than DH that we have a huge, enormous, massive problems on our hands. I just can't believe we got ourselves this far in the hole.

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Is there any way to cut out daycare? My hubby and I work opposite days, and will probably soon work opposite shifts, so that we don't have the daycare expenses. I can't imagine having to pay that much money each month for child care, and have great sympathy and admiration for people who manage to do so.
Do you have another job lined up yet? I know the market is awful, depending on what your career is.
I managed in the last year or so to cut our grocery bills by about 60% by shopping at discount grocery stores instead of the chain supermarkets. You know the kind, you bag your own food and there's a limited selection. But getting a six pound chicken for $3 is an unbeatable deal!
Good luck, and know that you're not alone out there!
Hugs!!!
Have you tracked all your spending?
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
If I am working we have to pay someone to watch the baby. We both work day time jobs and in our industries other hours are not an option. It's not feasible to have family watch the baby. In our area, daycare for an infant is $225 per week.
I have tracked our spending - kind of. We really haven't spent much money on frivilous things since the baby was born. I do know our one problem is eating out but we've been trying to get better about that.
I am not sure about going back to work but am planning on collecting unemployment. My severance is 8 weeks of pay in one lump sum. That is the only way my company does it. Plus, I have 8 vacation days I should get paid on. I have worked there for 5 years so I know I qualify for unemployment. I know it will probably take a while to find a new job close to my current pay.
I am planning on looking for a "newer" used car. I would like to find something reasonable, 2002 or newer. I need to find something roomy and in good working condition. DH is not handy with auto repair what so ever. I've always driven a car so it's not important to find an SUV or anything like that.
DH makes a good salary. If we hadn't overspent in previous years, we would have no problem living on his income only. I'm not sure what the income requirements for WIC are.
I actually had been snowflaking and was making great progress on our Visa but these medical bills and daycare costs have thrown our budget off completely.
DH is scheduled to get a bonus at the end of the month and I am praying it is a decent one to help get rid of some of this debt. Unfortunately, we never know what it's going to be until it is deposited in our account.
Thanks for listening. I just feel so horrible about all of this and after opening that escrow statement today I almost had a nervous breakdown.
Hi, I completely understand about daycare!!
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
I just wanted to send you lots of hugs.
I can't believe this post has 400+ views. The whole world knows about my debt now! :)
Those credit cards are just so easily obtainable and more offers just keep coming in the mail... It is sad -
I was gonna say state paid daycare is out there too - But if you don't qualify for WIC you won't for that.. Sounds like you have the $$ to get moving in the right direction. Wish we did !
Good Luck -
Renee =)
First, of course, you will save on daycare.
Next, you can save on all kinds of things that you may not have thought of as extra expenses. I like to think of the time I spend on saving money as having an hourly wage attached to it just as if I were at a job outside the home. And unlike income, money saved from outgo is not taxed!
Here are some things you can save on: your wardrobe--no longer is it necessary to buy expensive work clothes and shoes. Find what you need at yard sales, as hand-me-ons from friends and relatives, etc. Same goes for your children's clothes. Never pay retail.
Food--you now will have time to read the grocery stores's weekly flyers and shop for bargains when they come on sale, and stock up on those items. You also have time to prepare your family's food from scratch, saving big bucks on prepared foods and eating out. Learn to bake--I make all our family's bread, muffins, cookies, and other things. I'm learning to make our tortillas, too, as they are incredibly useful for using up leftovers. Learn to be creative with leftovers so that nothing goes to waste. Food made from scratch is incredibly cheap, and meals made from leftovers are practically free.
Outings--learn fun things to do as a family that don't cost money. Scour the local papers for events that cost little or no money. Organize playdates with women whose company you enjoy to break up the monotony and give your little one(s) social interaction.
Commuting--organize your week so that you only have to drive somewhere once or twice a week, thereby saving significantly on gasoline--have your insurance adjusted to reflect the lesser use of your vehicle. You won't have to have routine maintenance performed as often or have repairs made as soon, either. You might even consider surviving as a one-car family for a while until you're a little more established. We did this. You could even consider refinancing your vehicle if it's still only a few years old, so that your monthly payments are lower. While this won't reduce your actual debt, it will reduce the amount of money you have to pay out each month, thereby freeing up cash to keep other bills current.
You get the idea. I strongly recommend a book (no longer in print but still widely available through half.com and amazon) called "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Dascyscyn (spelling may be wrong of her name). It is packed with ideas and inspiration for earning your keep as a sahm or sahd.
Good luck. You can do this, but it will take work. If by reducing your outgo you still can't get things under control, you may have to take a night job doing something ungratifying (like waiting tables or working in retail) for a few months until you can get some of your debt paid down. We did this. It was really yucky--I worked late nights in a bar while dh stayed with the kids (no childcare expenses), and got some debt paid off until we had enough taken care of that we could afford for me to quit. Then I quit!! LOL
Anyway, good luck and blessings. I've gone on far longer than I intended, but it is a subject close to my heart. I wish you the best.
Heather
I spend alot of time on all of the different frugality boards here on ivillage for different ideas.
Due to the fact that I stay at home, I have plenty of time to search out the absolute lowest prices on EVERYTHING. From grocery shopping, to kids clothes and diapers, to car insurance, we pay the absolute lowest price possible. It makes a big difference then before we had our children and I was working full time. In fact, our debt was much higher before, we have paid a good portion of it down, and we have even set up an emergency account which we never had before.
We spend alot of time at the park, taking walks, and enjoying life. Hubby and I play board games, and talk. The library is free, and its a great place for kids to get used to reading alot in their spare time...I figure we are laying a foundation for our kids when they spend a day or 2 a week in the library. And for people with older children, a game night at home, coupled with a movie night will give you 2 nights a week of enjoyment with the family. Pop some popcorn, mix up that Kool-aid and have a blast.
I purchase my childrens clothes a year in advance and keep them in boxes in the basement. (its better to guess a little high in their sizes, so clothes are a little bigger)..I was able to buy both of my kids' summer and spring clothes for next year at JC Penneys end of summer sale-their whole wardrobes were less then 120.00 for both of them. Then, after they grow out of those clothes, whatever is salvageable will be sold on ebay, and at garage sales, some will be handed down to friends. We get some hand me downs as well- some are in great condition, some not. The ones that arent become play clothes, or pajamas.
I buy many of their toys at yard sales, and I am always looking for great sales. Toys R Us is having an incredible sale right now...All of their green ticket items are half price. Since the green ticket items are already on sale, the savings are incredible. I have purchased all of my kids christmas presents for 100.00...all brand new. (for example, I got the limbo elmo (he dances under a pole, and sings-even includes the batteries) for 5.00.
I spend alot of time at the different dollar stores in my neighborhood. I buy alot of cleaning supplies there, and sometimes I find an ocasional candle or picture frame that is perfect for a small gift for a birthday or christmas. I also make alot of christmas gifts for friends and family-cookies, cake etc, that go into pretty tins that I bought at the dollar store
I have become very imaginative in my cooking. Hubby never knows where tonights leftover pot roast will show up again-maybe in a stew, maybe in a spaghetti sauce...who knows? We very rarely eat out, but I do buy the entertainment book for buy 1 get 1 free coupons when we do.
I am sorry I am rambling, but I can't begin to tell you how much better hubby and I are both feeling now. It can be done...The first place to start is with a budget. Figure out your definate necessary costs. cut out the things that arent necessary. We switched our regular cel phones to trac phones pay as you go programs. We buy the minutes before we use them, and we only have the phones for emergencies...They both stay off at all times. We got rid of all the extra cable channels, and stick with a little better then basic. Look at the snowflaking board here on ivillage to pay down those credit cards. I will edit my post after to include the link to the information. Go over your car and life insurance policies, make sure you are paying the lowest you can be paying for the amount of necessary insurance. Look at grocery circulars, and when things are really really cheap, stock up. I do not use regular coupons for grocery shopping, because it causes me to buy things I dont really need...
We also had gone the IVF route. It didnt work for us. We were very fortunate-we decided to adopt through the states fost-adopt program, and we actually were blessed with a brother and sister. At the time, we were called about them, my daughter was one, and my son was just born. I so appreciate the fact that I am able to be home with them...It is possible, but it takes alot of changes and hard work. Hope this helps.
~Dawn
edited to include snowflaking info:
http://pages.ivillage.com/cl-beckymk/snowflaking/
Survey site that really does pay cash
http://www.surveysavvy.com/?id=1517115
Edited 9/20/2004 8:52 am ET ET by shiningonme
No advice on the kids, cuz I have none. so good luck with that.
As for the car lease, what are you driving now? If you still need a car, you may think about leasing something cheaper, but reliable. ie. I needed a car, but couldn't afford much. I now have a 2004 (it was brand new at the time) Honda Civic. It does the job. I got a top of the line one (you could get a lower one to lower payments) and well, I got mine down to $175/month on my payments, with a 3 year term and 15k miles. You could simply buy something cheaper, extend the lease to 3.5 years and pay even less.
And even if you don't put anything down, or even a little, like $1k, it's not so bad.
Really decide if you need another car. and if you do, I'd say, find a car with a lease that is lower than your current one, and choose a car where insurnace will be less. People find it odd that you can lease a Civic, because they're pretty cheap to begin with, but for me, it was the difference between $175 lease or $330 loan. BIG difference for my budget.
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