Money issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Money issues
4
Wed, 09-29-2004 - 5:16pm
I'm in major debt. Here's the situation. My boyfriend & I met when I was dancing (exotic dancer) he said once I stopped, we would get engaged. So I did to persue my real estate career and have us finally get engaged...and of course that move also meant a BIG cut on my income! We were living together and while I was given this ultimatum, he wasn't working (he was lieing about having a job for months before I found out) If I had know he wasn't working there is no way I would have stopped dancing. Well, I stopped dancing, I had a few deals that got me by. In April, my mom & I bought a house. Some real estate deals when very bad & I haven't had an income in months!!! I'm now pregnant, due in December, and my boyfriend questions why I ask for $5.00. I want to get back in shape w/in 3 months of giving birth to go back to dancing. I know my boyfriend won't like it, and will probably break up with me. But I now have a mortgage, all the bills that come with it and a baby on the way. Going back to that will let me work part-time, be home with my baby and make enough money as an executive. I my credit has been affected by not being able to pay bills, health insurance will be $400/month now..I need to catch up and survive! I'd like to get some feed back from anyone out there on my situation. Good idea? Bad idea? Suggestions? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2003
In reply to: mommy2b443
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 7:37am
Hi, congrats on your new baby. The following is just my opionion, I think you need to do whatever it takes to take care of you and your baby. If that means going back to dancing then that is what I would do. However, if you have someone available to help with baby maybe you could go to school or some kind of training because exotic dancing has a rather short lifespan if I'm not mistaken. While it may support you for the next 10 years or so eventually you will have to move on.

I am saying this as a former single parent. It is tough but very rewarding. Just make sure every decision that you make you take into account the long term goals for both you and your child. If your BF isn't helping to support you now that would be a red flag to me.

I am sure you will do fine, just keep posting. It really helps to keep us on track.

Good luck, hugs and congrats on your new baby.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
In reply to: mommy2b443
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:34am
First of all, do whatever it takes to take care of you and your baby. If that means dancing, do it. Secondly, I know that very few part time jobs will pay you like an exotic dancing gig will pay you. Why not try and work there part time and go to school part time. (you can most likely get assistance,financial aid.) get something to fall back on. Like kim said, exotic dancing is very limited in its life span.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
In reply to: mommy2b443
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 1:33pm
Thank you both for responding to me! :) You are both right about dancing being short term. I do have my BA Degree in Communications/PR and I have my Real Estate license. When I met my boy friend I quit my Project Management job to focus on real estate and dance for $ until the deals started kicking in...it took A LOT longer than what I expected for that to happen. So I can do real estate from home, but I'm just starting out & the the income isn't there right away :( . Yes, I do have someone to help...my mom. She can baby-sit when I go to "work" ("bartending, waitressing"). Though it shouldn't be her doing it all the time, my BF should. To tell you the truth, I can see him saying "NO" to that, If I'm gonna be doing something that he doesn't like. I truly appreciate you writing me and I will definately keep you updated on this. Everyday I'm trying to figure out I'm gonna tell him though...???
Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mommy2b443
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:51pm

Hello and welcome to the board.

All my best,
Danni