I've Finally Had It With Myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I've Finally Had It With Myself
3
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 11:51am
Hi all....I'm new to this board but I've decided to join in because I'm just so fed up with myself. I'm in debt that has now put me in so much trouble, I wouldn't even know where to begin fixing it. My utility bills are out of control, I barely pay the rent each month, & my checking account is almost always negative. On top of that, I have 2 credit card bills that are way overdue. I'm ashamed, embarrassed, & really depressed about this situation I've put myself in, but I know I have no one else to blame but myself. On top of that, my boyfriend moved in with me a month ago & proposed this past week, & he has his own bills to worry about, but I don't think he realizes how bad I am & I really don't want him to know. Anyway, I don't have an action plan yet (except to make sure the rent is paid for this month) & I just needed a place to vent & maybe get some ideas. I'm really mostly worried about the utilities (phone, electric, etc.) As of right now, the phone is actually disconnected due to my stupidity. Anyone else ever been in a similar situation? What have you done to gain control of yourself. I'm ready to make some changes, I think.
Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 12:19pm

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 1:27pm
Don't be depressed!!! I know it's easier said then done but being depressed only makes it worse. You have to almost try and be positive which will help you actively work at bringing yourself above water. I always worry about money and I used to get so upset but I realzied that it doesn't help me. You aren't alone in this...trust me!

I am exactly where you are right now even down to the moving in together with my boyfriend (although we are not engaged). I also do not let him know where I stand with my debt because I feel it's my problem and I don't want him to feel like he should help me which he would. He does know I have debt but he doesn't know I'm a little behind with things.

The great thing is we just moved in together so I have pretty much cut my rent and bills etc. in half and I'm assumming you did the same thing. I'm taking that money that I have now from splitting bills with him and I'm trying to use it towards my debt. Someone on this site told me to write down all my debts and how much I make in a month and just visually take a look at where I stand. Now this can make you a little depressed because it truly is a good dose of reality but it also helps you manage your money better. I actually realized that I was spending money on some ridiculous things that I didn't need.

Just take a deep breath and don't put yourself down! Remain positive and just know it will get better. One thing I always do on this board is look at the celebrations because they motivate me. My goal is to one day be able to comment on the celebrations board. It may sound stupid but to me it's a postive goal to have rather than my goal just being "getting rid of my debt" because that's obvious and it always depressed me so I decided to make my goal the celebrations board.

Really hang in there!!!



Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-30-2004 - 3:56pm

Hello and welcome to the board.

All my best,
Danni