Feeling very out of place

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Feeling very out of place
7
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 7:44pm
Hi! I'm Sheila. I'm new here. I've been reading everyone's messages and for some reason, I really think that I'm stuck in debt. I got divorced 3 years ago. My ex got the debt, I got the kids. I loved that idea. We didn't have any credit cards because we didn't have credit. My ex paid all the bills when he wanted to but chose to use his paychecks to drink and tip the little strippers hanging from the poles. (Get the drift). Anyway, I'm a single parent of three. My credit stinks! My score is very, very low! I have automobile loans that the ex and I took out together that he defaulted on. These are now showing negatively on my credit report. I have a lot of debt. I need a new car but no company will touch me. I can't get a credit card and I don't have extra money to throw down on a secured card. I support my kids on my income which is decent, but not good. I don't have a credit card to my name and I live paycheck to paycheck. I don't have the money to pay off all these debts on my credit report. I don't want to file bankruptcy. I want to establish credit...any thoughts? I've never owned a home either. I would love to be a homeowner before I hit 40 years old.

Sheila

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Thu, 10-07-2004 - 8:48pm
Hi Sheila. Welcome to the board! First off, I just want you to know you are not alone. We are all here for a reason. Have you tried making a budget yet? I have found that by keeping track of every single dollar that I spent for a month or 2, I could sit down and see where I could start trimming. If there is any way for you to set aside a little something every week, hopefully you could buy yourself a very low priced, older car that still has a nice amount of life left in it. For example I had a 1986 Dodge Aries K that I had purchased for 500.00, that lasted me a number of years that I recently gave to a friend of mine after I bought something larger. We spend very little on groceries for a family of 4...We are averaging about 300.00 a month, and that is including diapers for my 16 month old and 28 month old. I stock up on items when they are on sale, so some weeks I will buy a whole load of meat, and fresh produce and milk and nothing else...Other weeks I will just buy paper towels, toilet paper, fresh produce, milk and nothing else. Still other weeks, it may be diapers...300 of them at a time, fresh produce, milk and nothing else. So basically I always have a bunch of items at hand so I can wait until sales to purchase what I need. I find some amazing places to store my groceries as well...Paper towels and toilet paper under my bed, as well as canned goods, etc. I save alot of money this way. You can set the money aside from your grocery savings towards a car.

As far as the credit situation goes, Im afraid I don't have too much advice. I had been in a very bad situation (also due to my ex husband being irresponsable). It took several years for all of the negatives to disappear, and for my credit report to be halfway decent (about 7 years) and now I have an excellant credit score...So it can be done, it just takes time. I would try applying to a few cc companies (perhaps someone else on here has advice on cc companies that may be willing to work with you) and even if its a high interest rate, as long as yuo pay off your balance, it wont matter. If you can get one, try just putting very small charges on the card, and paying them off every month in full just to establish some credit. I wish you all the luck in the world.

HTH

~Dawn

A survey comany that really does pay cash

http://www.surveysavvy.com/?id=1517115

 

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 9:38am

Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 2:34pm
Dawn:

Thank you for your advise. It was very good. I didn't think about buying things in bulk at one time. I like the idea of buying meat one week, produce, dairy, etc... good idea.

I really don't want to file bankruptcy but I don't know whatelse to do. I thought about sending a certified letter to the head of the credit company and see if they will do something about relinquishing me from the debt and maybe use the word, "bankruptcy" in the letter. But, the debt has been turned over to a collection office so who do I deal with?

Sheila

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 9:09pm
Hi Sheila. {{{hugs}}} I could be wrong, but I believe that once the account is handed to an outside collections agency, (not the collections department of the company) the original company has no control over it, and you would need to deal with the collections agency.

I know this is a touchy subject, but I was wondering if you can consider suing your ex husband for breach of contract? I don't know much about these things..when I got divorced, I got screwed royally...so I am probably the wrong person to give advice on this one.

~Dawn


Edited 10/9/2004 9:12 pm ET ET by shiningonme

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 10:12am
Hi Sheila,

I understand what you are going through. I incurred a lot of debt a few years ago due to being off on medical disability for a long period of time. I also had to help my mother financially because she has a serious medical condition and had a lot of medical bills. I was in debt up to my eyeballs. It is really good to budget if you can, but it is hard when your bills far exceed your income. I tried a Credit Counseling Company and also tried to work with all of my creditors on an individual basis. I ended up filing a Chapter 13 bankruptcy as a very last resort several years ago. The money came out of my paycheck every week and all of my creditors were paid off over a 4 year period. This was a very challenging time and sometimes I didnt know how I was going to make it financially, but I did. The chapter 13 stayed on my credit report for 7 years ( I believe a Chapter 7 stays on your report for 10). I had to stay on an extremely strict budget and sacrificed a lot, but it paid off in the long run. Not only did all of my creditors get paid off, but I was able to get a credit card to re-establish my credit. The companies continued to report to the credit bureau that I was making my payments on time (via bankruptcy) and believe it or not my credit score went up. The bankruptcy came off my report in 2000 and I am now in the process of looking for a home to purchase. I didnt think my financial situation would ever improve. Bankruptcy is not for everyone, it was a last resort option for me. It is best to investigate the Credit Counseling Agencies first, but with a lot of determination I am sure you can make a positive turn around financially.

Hang in there!

tleeb3
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 6:41pm
He's a freaking deadbeat. I have him already back in court on contempt...non-payment of child support. I wonder if I can write a letter to collection agencies with a copy of the marital settlement agreement showing that this is his debt and not mine. I wonder if using the word "bankruptcy" would help much?

Sheila

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 8:09am
I don't know whether or not that would sway them in any way. If you are considering bankruptcy, you should definately arm yourself with all the information you can get your hands on. From what I understand, there are 2 different types, chapter 7, and chapter 13. I believe a 7 means you pay back your debts on a schedule, (without interest or fees)and it stays on your credit report for 7 years. From what I've read, a 13 is when you are relieved of all the debt you put into the bankruptcy, and it stays on your credit report for 10 years. If you go with a chapter 13, I believe they go after the other person on the loan if the bankruptcy goes through. I could be mixing them up, I have never done it, Im just going by memory... Either way, Bankruptcy is a viable option for some people...have you checked out the bankruptcy boards here at ivillage? I do read the boards there because sometimes I get financial hints from people there who need (or want) to get used to life without credit cards.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-mlbankruptcy&nav=start

Hopefully you can get some information on there to help you decide whether it is right for you.

HTH

~Dawn

Edited 10/11/2004 8:19 am ET ET by shiningonme


Edited 10/11/2004 8:28 am ET ET by shiningonme